Get Up You Son Of A Bitch, Cause Sara Loves Ya!

2004-07-14T21:59:00.000-05:00

Painting pictures, bleeding colors

Wow I never use this thing anymore...well not much has happend since I last updated. Today I went to uptown with Bellamy Aaron Jacob and Austen. Bellamy got his hair done while me and the other guys went and looked around for cds. I didnt get any though....I wasnt in the mood to buy cds today. Ive been drawing a lot lately and painting a bit. I should go do that now......goodnight

Mood: awake
Listening to at the moment: Walls- Emery

2004-07-02T23:55:00.000-05:00

Realize all these things that you took from me

Went to Adam's tonight. It was alright, not anything special. We all went to Wendys then hung out in the Von Maur parking garage. Now Im at home and Im going to White Bear tomorrow. I'll have lots of fun there...oh yeah... So now Im talking to Bellamy, I love talking to Bellamy. So thats what Im gonna go do.

Mood: really out of it
Listening to at the moment: Tomorrow I'll Be You- Thursday

2004-06-27T13:20:00.000-05:00

You ware me out

Long ass weekend. I was at Laurens the whole weekend and I havnet slept in 48 hours. We were with Adam pretty much all weekend but it was fun. Meh not in the mood to type. I will tongiht when I get home.

Mood: blank
Listening to at the moment: Im Not Okay (I Promise)- My Chemical Romance

2004-06-23T13:58:00.000-05:00

This life is so called murder

Well Im having a really hard time keeping this thing updated. Im gone a lot so thats why. Basically lately Ive been with Chelsey a lot. Yesterday we went to Dunn again and made bracelets. Then I slept at Rachels that night. Today I went to drivers ed and I got home like 45 minutes ago. No idea what Im doing today. Im supposed to do something with Bellamy but he is no where to be found at the moment. Eh I'll call him later. Ok Im off.

Mood: bored
Listening to at the moment: Burn Piano Island Burn- The Blood Brothers

2004-06-20T18:54:00.000-05:00

Dont pick me to keep your eyes from crying

Wow its been a long weekend. Well first friday, Chelsey, Olivia, and I biked to Dunn Bros. and hung out there for a long time. Came home. Saw Shrek 2. Went back to Chelseys and we watched Carrie. Saturday, Went to Dunn Bros. again. Sat around there. Came home. Showered finally. Then Adam, Proko, and Chelsey came over. Had a good time with them. Then the guys left. Chelsey and I were dead so we went to bed right away. Woke up at like 9. Went to White Bear. Walked to Caribou with my sister. Finally came home. Now I have a ton of D.E. homework to do still....shit. Im gonna go do that now.

Mood: wayyy to tired to do this homework
Listening to at the moment: Fashion Tips Baby- Fear Before The March Of Flames

2004-06-17T14:50:00.000-05:00

The wind speaks lies

Driver's Ed. again today. Not too fun but whatever. Got home and finally got to watch my Eighteen Visions DVD thing. Hmm Im not too up for typing in this, there's not much to type anyway. Brandon's comming to get me soon anyway and Im going to Alyssas. Later

Mood: worried and thinking wayyy too much
Listening to at the moment: The Trees Get Wheeled Away- Bright Eyes

2004-06-16T09:30:00.000-05:00

Love never wanted me

Just woke up....ish. Lauren was here last night. Lots of talking but it was good. Driver's Ed at 10:45. Fuck. Got new Eighteen Visions yesterday. Kind of a letdown. It will grow on me hopefully. No idea whats going on today. We'll see what happens.

Mood: tired
Listening to at the moment: Crushed- Eighteen Visions

2004-06-15T14:47:00.000-05:00

Love sprung from hate

Not much new has happend since I last updated. Umm lets see...Sunday I went to Ryan's with Rachel and we watched Haggard. Then later we went to Alex Shockley's house to tan, but it ended up being a sting pong competitation wtih me and Ryan. That hurt but it was fun. Slept at Rachel's, then went to drivers ed in the morning. Worst 2 hours of my life. Did the same thing today. When Bellamy gets back from work, we're going to get new Eighteen Visions and Underoath. Then its Harry Potter time. After that, I think Im at Lauren's tonight. I dont really have much to say, well I do but Im not in the mood. Im not feeling too great about myself right now and I have no idea or reason why. Its really weird and kinda freaky. I dunno. Im out.

Mood: Not too good
Listening to at the moment: Love Lost in a Hail of Gunfire- Bleeding Through

2004-06-12T18:19:00.000-05:00

Why did I laugh so hard baby?

Well I should inform whoever reads this about my weekend so far. Well Friday, I woke up kinda earlier I think.....I dont remember. But anyway, I sat around most of the day, then at like 7, Adam asked if we (Lauren Chelsey, and myself) wanted to go to Proko's with him and Kyle. So we got there at like 7:30 or so and got a tour or whatever. Then we attempted to start watching Mystic River, that didnt work. Then we played random games with the strobe light like strobe pool and strip blackjack, which didnt work out so good cause everyone cheated. Then we danced and watched Requiem for a Dream. During that, I went to go visit Kyle and drag him out of the bedroom. While we were in there, we fed Proko's fish wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much food and we had to save the nasty fish, but it was hilarious. Well then I got him to watch the movie with us which was good. Then it was like 1 so Adam drove us to Laurens. I wouldnt get up so I made Proko carry me everywhere, I love being little and lazy. Well we got to Laurens and just sat in her room eating poptarts and watching this blender infomercial for hours. Woke up early with Chelsey, and made mom drive us to where we needed to go. Today I went to Alyssas and layed out in the sun with her for hours. It was fun. Just got home. Dunno what my plans are for tonight yet. Im thinking I may see if Katie wants to have me and Rach over....lol Katie is whipped, but I want to see her anyway.

http://bush-zombiereagan.com/ I love that

Mood: pretty good
Listening to at the moment: Two and Twenty Misfortunes- Shai Hulud

2004-06-10T13:42:00.000-05:00

Well I hope that you are happy where you are

Yesterday was the last day of school. Had 2 finals, they were easy though. Came home and Lauren came over and we just sat around, then eventually went to Caribou. Finally, Adam came over, then Chelsey came later. We watched Romeo and Juliet (which took about 3 hours to get through cause it was always being paused so we could do something else) and the beginning of The Crow. Adam eventually left and we went upstairs. I got a bit violent and almost broke my light....oops. Woke up at like 11 and ate crepes (of course). They left just now, so Im sitting around and I need to take a shower and figure out if anything's going on tonight.

Mood: blah
Listening to at the moment: Love to Hate, Hate to Me- A Static Lullaby

2004-06-08T18:37:00.000-05:00

I never had it

Today was my last full day of school, but tomorrow I have a half day from 8-11 so that's not bad. I had 2 finals today in Science and English. I did good on the English one and got 41/42 though. Science.......um I know I didnt do good on. I didnt even read through the last 10 problems, I just filled in letters cause I wanted to get it done so I could try to relax. Tomorrow I have another two, one in Spanish, and the other in Orchestra.

I saw Dianna and Vanessa today and they drove me home. I was nice to see old friends again, I was starting to miss Vanessa a lot. Speaking of old friends, I just found out today that one of my really good old friends is dropping out of school to work on his album full time...I really hope he calls me this summer, I want to talk to him so much. Ok Im so drained right now, I need sleep. I might go to bed early tonight so Im ready for tomorrow. I think Im hanging out with either Lauren, Chelsey, Colin and other people or else I may see if Proko and Adam are busy and want to hang out with me and Lauren. Ok Im out.

Mood: tired
Listening to at the moment: Whatever track 3 is on the CD Adam made me called "If Adam's life had a soundtrack, It'd sound kinda like this"

2004-06-07T18:40:00.000-05:00

Things you can resist, things you cannot

Didnt sleep at all last night, it was too damn hot. Usually Im freezing cold (like right now) but last night I was so warm. Took a shower at 5 since I didnt sleep. Went to school and got ready for a few finals. I could not like sit still for more than a minute in any class which was so irritating. Well afterschool, went to Rachel's to study for our science final but ended up tanning the whole time, which I care more about than studying right now. Anything comes before school nowadays, I dont even care anymore. Tonight I have so much stuff to do. I should probably study a bit for my English and Science finals, then along with that, I have to call Lauren, Alyssa, and Miles. Hmmm well I better get crakin.......oh who am I kidding, Im gonna be onlike for the rest of the night and not get anything done.

Mood: twitchy and cold
Listening to at the moment: You Will. You?Will. You?Will. You?Will.- Bright Eyes

2004-06-06T21:05:00.000-05:00

Theres nothing that I can do for you you cant do for yourself

Got up around 11:30 today, which was so nice. An hour or so later, I was at Savers with Erin. I got a bunch of stuff. It was fun. Came home, did a ton of homework, watched like 4 episodes of this Drake and Jake or something show, its on Nickeloden. Miles called so I talked to him for an hour or so, I miss him a lot. Watched the first 10 minute of Spyware (The Cronicles of Riddick) on MTV, it looks ok. School is over in 3 days, finally.

"Back to civilization. All the brightness, everything I hate. I just wanted to be left alone"

Mood: no idea
Listening to at the moment: Its Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door- Underoath

2004-06-05T23:32:00.000-05:00

Love will tear us apart

Went to Karls graduation party tonight. It rained so much, everyone got soaked. It was better than I thought I would be though. I ate a lottttttttt though. Yuck, I feel gross now. When it started raining really really hard, I decided to roll down a hill. So I ran, and just like lunged forward, and tumbled down so hard. It was fun but hurt a lot cause I kept hitting rocks, twigs, and a tree once. Oh well, it was fun. I got paid like $25 I think for helping out there so Im happy about that. Got home, talked to people, now Im thinking about going to bed. Tomorrow I may go thrift store shopping with Erin, but I have a ton of shit to do too. Like I might go see a movie too, but I have a bunch of homework to do too. Hmmmmmm hopefully I can do stuff and get all the other stuff done that I need to get done too. Whatever, Im gonna go to bed

Mood: sick and still soaking
Listening to at the moment: This Year's Most Open Heartbreak- Funeral For A Friend

2004-06-05T09:49:00.000-05:00

Wash it from my eyes

Ahhh I just woke up. Wow this is kinda early for me for a weekend. I thought it was a school day when I woke up and I got pissed but thankfully, it wasnt. Now, Im sitting listening to my windows player on random...now its on Hopesfall....wait no now its on Bright Eyes. Im so addicted to Bright Eyes right now, kinda like how I was/still am to Cursive, they just dont get old.

Today I get to go help out at Erin's brother's graduation party...woo...Im not really wanting to do it so much, but at least Im getting paid. Eh, maybe I'll see if Erin wants to chill after the party or something. Me and her need a good reunion night and I should probably get her caught up on what's going on. (Ok now my player is on HIM....HIM is amazing) Before I do the party thing, I think Im might call Alyssa and see if she wants to go eat somewhere cause I really really need to talk to her about stuff. This is like the first time EVER that Ive wanted/needed some advice from her, usually she comes to me for this stuff. But she's been through stuff like this before and I hope she can help. Otherwise, I might see if Lauren wants to get coffee and talk, we talked for a while last night and she didnt have a good night. Whatever, I need coffee and a shower so Im off to get both.

Mood: itchy
Listening to at the moment: The Heartless- HIM

2004-06-04T22:55:00.000-05:00

We all begin to burn

Well I feel better now. Me and my mom just finished a really long talk....it was very interesting. We didnt really talk about tonight, more about her time in Colorado then a lot about religion. I told her I didnt believe in God anymore and she accepted that. Im curious to know what K dogg will think though. He's kinda the more religious one of the family. I dunno, she probably wont say anything to him cause he'll get upset. Whatever, I feel a bi better now, but still, Im confused over Alex. I dont know if I want to keep things going with him or no. I think I need to hang out with Proko again and see if he's just not a bunch of bullshit. Even though Kayti likes him says Lauren....well we'll see what's going on there. I seemed to click way better with Proko than with Alex, even though tonight was better. Still, ugh I should talk to Chelsey or Alyssa about this but neither of them are anywhere to be found. I will talk to them tomorrow hopefully.

Mood: a bit better, still confused
Listening to at the moment: The Last Supper After Party- Give Up The Ghost

2004-06-04T21:49:00.000-05:00

I know that I feel better when I sing

Hmm well I ended up hanging out with Alex tonight. Didnt tell my parents who were out to eat for their anniversary. They kinda got pissed when I came home cause I lied and said I was with Erin and some guys, but Erin and those guys had walked by not too long ago. Fuckkkkkkkkkkk but whatever. I dont think Im in real trouble. They're just "disappointed" in me, but thats worse than them being mad at me. So much for hanging out again with Alex tonight. Its probably better that way too. Im not sure if Im into him yet or not even though I know he really likes me. Hmmmm I think I might go to bed early and think about that one....

Mood: mad at myself
Listening to at the moment: Jet Black New Year- Thursday

2004-06-04T16:46:00.000-05:00

It's going on and on and on and on

Today started off not good at all because of news last night, then things got better once I got over it a bit. Talked to Tony a bunch on the bus afterschool, that was fun. Got home and played violin for a long time. I missed just being able to mess around with it and play anything I want until my fingers are pretty much bleeding. I love that violin.

Ok tonight I have no idea what I want to do. I could go hang out with Alex but I dont know if I want to really. I might call Katie for a reuinion night thing but Im not too up for that either....ugh maybe I'll just stay home and start my painting. I dunno. I will figure it out eventually.

Mood: I have no idea
Listening to at the moment: Method Acting- Bright Eyes...."I know that I feel better when I sing, burdens are lifted from me. That my voice rising!"

2004-06-03T19:28:00.000-05:00

But it is all I want, to be loved and believe in my soul

Well lets see....yesterday I went to school and had a really moody day there, but I got home and went to Clif's with Alex and we had a good time with video games and at the park and driving.

Today was kinda shitty, my toes were purple so that usually means Im going to be moody again. Whatever, I got through today and now Im talking to Miles on the telephone woooo

x. I am: Sara

x. I want: school to be over

x. I have: a violin

x. I wish: i had someone in my life

x. I hate: fish

x. I miss: Miles

x. I fear: fish, Michael Jackson

x. I hear: Miles' voice

x. I search: for cute boys

x. I wonder: where Chelsey is....I need to talk to that girl

x. I regret: last Friday night

x. I love: being happy and not moody

x. I ache: everywhere

x. I always: have purple feet

x. I am not: going to see L.I. tomorrow...thank god

x. I dance: when Im alone in my basement

x. I sing: everywhere

x. I cry: I never cry

x. I am not always: so smart

x. I write: in this journal every now and then

x. I win: never

x. I lose: a lot

x. I confuse: myself

x. I should: make plans for tomorrow night

x. You get embarrassed when: I dont have anything to say

x. What upsets you: certain people

x. You keep a diary: this journal I guess

x. You like to cook: anything

x. You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: ooh yeah

x. You set your watch a few minutes ahead: not on purpose, it just happens

x. You bite your fingernails: not really

x. You believe in love: yes

Who is...

x. The prettiest person of the opposite sex you know: Proko

x. The weirdest person you know: Bellamy

x. The loudest person you know: Rachel

x. Your closest friends: Bellamy, Alyssa, Miles

x. The person that knows the most about you: Alyssa or Lauren

x. Most boring teacher: umm right now....probably Ms. Willey but I dunno

What is?

x. Your most overused phrase on AIM: hmmm

x. Last image/thought you go to sleep with: I think of the Join Me (ice version) music video because I listen to that song before I go to bed everynight

x. Your best feature: not sure, you tell me

x. Inside joke: Cyril the dragon loves Jenelle....god she was a babe ;)

x. Take a shower everyday: sadly yes

x. Have a crush: yesss

x. Think you've been in love: I know I have

x. Want to get married: sure

x. Want any tattoos/where: yeah, um maybe wrist, neck, shoulder blades

x. Want any Piercings/where?: lower lip and anti-brow maybe

x. Get along with your parents: usually

x. Screen names: MexBlanketSara

x. Sign: Taurus

x. Natural hair color: Blonde

x. Current hair color: blonde

x. Eye color: blue

Favorites....

x. Number: 11, 6

x. Color: brown, greys, black, reds, greens, black

x. Day: friday

x. Month: October

x. Songs: Tooo many to name them alll

x. Food: soy beans

x. Season: Autumn

x. Drink: Diet Coke w/ Lime

x. Veggie: too many to name them....i love them all, besides onions

Preferences....

x. Cuddle or make out?: both...at the same time!

x. Chocolate milk or hot chocolate?: hot chocolate

x. Milk, dark, or white chocolate?: milk

x. Vanilla or chocolate?: vanilla

In the last 24 hours, have you...

x. Cried: no

x. Helped someone: not sure

x. Bought something: yeah

x. Gone to the movies: no

x. Gone out for dinner: no

x. Said 'I love you': yea

Mood: not sure
Listening to at the moment: False Advertising- Bright Eyes

2004-06-01T19:54:00.000-05:00

You've gone away

Went to school today. It was like lazy and normal. Came home with Lauren and Bellamy, watched Dr. Phil then went to the mall. Bellamy got me my birthday present finally, which was Bright Eyes. Came home with Bellamy while Lauren went off to be a ballerina. Bellamy and I went swinging at the park and talked and took pictures while on the swings. I love quality time with Bellamy, I havent had that in a long while with him. Anyway, came home and he just left. Eh...not too much to say. I think Im going out with Alex sometime this weekend, minus Brittany and Clif. Hopefully he will talk and be himself and not quiet, I will break his shell. Ok Im gone.

Mood: blah
Listening to at the moment: Big Picture- Bright Eyes

2004-05-31T18:28:00.000-05:00

Shes gonna find out how much it hurts to die

[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? :::	Sara Klemp
Birthplace :::	Edina
Age :::	15
Age you act :::	Depends, probably around 6 most of the time
Current location :::	Eden Prairie
Eye color :::	blie
Hair color :::	blonde
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :::	Righty
Zodiac sign? :::	Taurus
Height? :::	5"2'
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality :::	Mostly Norwegian, then German, then French
Your hair :::	Long, layered and blonde
Your fears :::	Fish, Michael Jackson
Your perfect room :::	I did a project kinda like this for English. Umm its hard to describe. Probably just one huge dark art studio
What you practically do in a day :::	Be Sara
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse :::	god, what, and fine
Phrases you overuse :::	Are you kidding me? and what a jerk
Your first thought when you wake up :::	Where am I?
Your greatest accomplishment :::	so far, playing violin for 11 years
Something you want to do :::	Play music for a living
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke :::	Coke
McDonald's or Burger Kings :::	McDonalds
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera :::	Christina
Chocolate or vanilla :::	vanilla
Adidas or Nike :::	Adidas
Black or white :::	Black
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) :::	Bills
Burgers or hot dogs :::	neither
Egypt or France :::	France
Rock or rap :::	rock
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke :::	sometimes, not too often tho
Cuss :::	not as much as I used to
Sing well :::	I think so and Im told I do
Sing in the shower :::	yeah
Talk to yourself --a lot-- :::	lol sometimes
Believe in yourself :::	sometimes
Like taking these longass surveys? :::	yeah
Play an instrument :::	violin, cello, piano
Want to go to college? :::	meh dunno
Want to get married? :::	sure
Want to have children? :::	maybe
Think you're a health freak? :::	not really
Get along with your parents :::	usually
Get along with your siblings? :::	dont talk to her too much
Think you're popular :::	naw
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state :::	nope
Drank alchohal :::	yes
Smoke :::	nope
Get high :::	nope
Done any drugs :::	loads of aspirin
Eaten an entire box of oreos :::	oh god no
Been on stage :::	yes
Gone skinny dipping :::	its not the right season yet
Been dumped :::	nope
Dyed your hair :::	nope
Stolen anything :::	not that I can remember but....wait yes i have
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest :::	Bellamy
Loudest :::	Chelsey
Most shy :::	Alex
Blondest :::	Rachel...definitely lol
Smartest :::	Casey
Kindest :::	Erin
Best personality :::	Bill or Proko
Most talented :::	Bill
Best singer :::	honestly....probably me
Most ghetto :::	Anthony
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) :::	Alyssa
Pain in the ass :::	Austen and Marissa
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style)):::	Austen....
Funniest :::	Bellamy and Alyssa.
Best person for advice :::	Bill or Lauren
Dependable :::	Miles
Trustworthy :::	Miles, Bellamy, and Alyssa
Druggie :::	Adam
Most likely to end up in jail :::	lol Adam....or Bill even though he's pretty much already been there
Person you've known the longest :::	Jenny and Vanessa
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream :::	Probably another Marissa one...
Last nightmare :::	Probably another Marissa one...I wish she'd get out of my dreams
Car ride :::	umm I think my mom this morning
Last time you cried :::	3 years ago....
Last movie seen :::	Point Break kinda
Last movie rented :::	The second disc to Brother Bear....good pick Adam
Last book read :::	Romeo and Juliet
Last word said :::	door
Last curse word said :::	shitty probably
Last time you laugh :::	This afternoon when doing my spainsh movie
Last phone call :::	Miles
Last CD played :::	Hot Damn!- Everytime I Die
Last song you listened to :::	Breathe- Seether feat. Amy Lee....why am I liking this music?! Im crazy
Last annoyance :::	myself
Last IM :::	Erin
Last weird encounter :::	The hallway with Marissa probably
Last person you hugged :::	Lauren probably
Last person you yelled at :::	k dogg
Last time you wore a skirt :::	a few weeks ago I think
Last time you've been evil :::	Friday.....
Sarcastic? :::	dont remember..
Last time you fought with your parents :::	a little tonight with k dogg
Last time you wished upon a star :::	a few nights ago
Played Truth or Dare :::	so long ago
Spent quality time alone :::	not for a while
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM :::	yeah
Do you feel lonely :::	at the moment, yes
Ever TP'd someone's house :::	kinda
How about egging someone's house :::	nope
Do you not like dislike not like me? :::	naw, you're great
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? :::	Not really sorry
Yo Momma :::	yo momma bitch
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? :::	nope
What do you think of George Bush? :::	ish....hes so fucking stupid i cant stand it
Any secret fetishes? :::	necks and backs
Do you like to wear chains? O_o :::	um no
How many languages do you speak? :::	2 kinda
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! :::	not really
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) :::	yeah now im off to erins

Bored? ((Over 100 questions)) brought to you by BZOINK!

2004-05-31T09:20:00.000-05:00

We all know art is hard when we dont know who we are

Ok I havent posted in days because Ive been so busy and plus Ive been at Lauren's all weekend. This has been the most eventful weekend for me in a long long time. Well lets start with Friday........went to school, then Drew took Lauren, Chelsey, and me back here. We sat around here for hours waiting to leave (we had to be here so we could watch Daisy). Alexa called around like 6 or so and told Lauren her mom had the baby. Lauren really wanted to go see it so she called Drew to take us to the hospital, but he was at lacrosse practice, so Colin ended up driving us. So Colin, Chelsey, Lauren and me all went to go pick up Brian and then drive off to the hospital to see Alexa's new sister. We were at the hospital for like an hour probably, then the five of us left and went back to Laurens. The boys dropped us off and went back to Colin's to fix a lawn mower but they were comming back later. We just hung out around the house and Drew got home and I went and sat with him and Chelsey while he played guitar for a while. The boys got back later and then we all got back into the car and drove over to Brians to go in his hot tub since his parents were out of town. Well we were at Brians for like 2 hours or so. Me and Drew had like the most extreme towel snapping fight. I kicked his ass in something for once ha! Anyway, it was like 12:30 when we got back to Laurens. We all went and sat in Lauren's asian room for a few hours....ummm that was interesting. I made a bad choice in there and Im really upset I did it but I did and Im not even going to say what I did cause Im such a fuck up. Its not huge, but still. No one is like mad at me, but Im mad at myself.

Whatever, anyway I ended up getting to bed at like 5 in the morning. Chelsey woke me up at 8 to make her and the boys breakfast, damn you Chelsey. I was so tired and felt ishy because of the night before. So I made crepes then the boys left to go to work (Drew and Brian were working at X-fest this weekend and Colin works....no idea). Chelsey left too cause she had a cheerleading car wash thing so I went back to bed. Woke up at 1 in the afternoon with Lauren, and I made her crepes too. She had a wedding to go to at 4, so I helped her get ready for it. Then her, Jerry, and mom left and so I was at Lauren's house all by myself for like 5 hours until Drew and Brian got home. The whole time I was alone, I went online, made macaroni, watched Degrassi, watched Out Cold, then half of Bowling for Columbine. Halfway though that movie, Lauren got home wiht Casey and Katelyn, and I then found out that I was sleeping at Katelyn's house. So we went over there and went to bed almost right way. We were all so tired.

Woke up at 10, and Jerry bribed us to go to church because after we got to go for burritos. So we did that, then me and Lauren drove home wiht Drew and Brian. Then Adam sent me and Lauren this dumb computer game that we worked on for four hours and didnt win so Lauren was pissed. Then Adam asked if we wanted to hang out with him and Proko that night, adn of course we did. The boys picked us up, and we went to Target and bought a shitload of candy and some silly putty for me and Proko. Then me and Proko called Lauren and Adam and told them that we didnt want to go see a movie, we wanted to rent one. So we dragged them go Hollywood Video and rented Brother Bear, Adam found it in the horror section....ok well anyway got back to Laurens and foudn out that it was the second disc to Brother Bear so we didnt get to watch it, damn you Adam for picking the one in the horror section. Oh well, we ended up watching most of Point Blank I think...All four of us were stuffed on Lauren's little couch but it was fun. I think I kinda like Proko.....I hope he's not just like bullshitting me cause I liked being with him yesterday. Anyway, they left at 11 or so, then me and Lauren went right to bed after calling Chelsey. Wow ok that was my weekend.

Its memorial day now and Im waiting for my Spanish group people to call because we need to do our movie thing soon. I dont want to do it at like 4 this afternoon and no be able to do stuff tonight. Whatever, I gotta go clean myself up or something.

Mood: dirty
Listening to at the moment: Transmission- Joy Division

2004-05-26T17:04:00.000-05:00

The shadows will rise and they will fall

Hmm well I havent updated in a few days because Ive been so busy. Sunday night I had to write my Requiem for a Dream paper once I got home from the movie with Chelsey and Lauren. Monday I came home and just hung out for a while I think, then Miles called so I talked to him until like 9:30, then I re-did my report for the book. Tuesday was Dr. Phil day so Lauren and Chelsey came over for that, so we hung out down here for a long while, then they left and I had to go babysit. After that, I came home and found out that my dog had surgery that day and she just got home. She looked so sick. Her eyes were all watery and she was so hot, and she was wobbling all around the house and couldnt lay down anywhere because it hurt her too much. My poor baby. I hope she gets better. Miles called when I got home so I talked to him until like 10, then I had to do my Science report on our Sludge project. That took forever. Now tonight, I have no homework thank god.

Hmm well not a lot of new things.........wait actually a lot of new things are happening. Some good, more bad, many many more stressful. Hopefully all of that will go away by the time school is done, which is in 2 weeks from today. Ok time to go. Bye

Mood: tired....very tired
Listening to at the moment: Dying in New Brunswick- Thursday

2004-05-23T00:32:00.000-05:00

Come on baby lets dance again

Talked to Miles for 2 hours tonight. We were laughing the whole time. It was oh so nice. Then Lauren called me after her date with Adam, and Chelsey called too so now Im on the phone both of them on a 3 way thing. Im so awake. Im having like a major ADD attack right now and I want coffee, a LOT of coffee. Ok I must concentrate on this phone conversation.

Mood: ADD attack so Im going nuts here all alone
Listening to at the moment: Chelsey's and Lauren's voices

2004-05-22T17:18:00.000-05:00

By now, you should of somehow realized what you're not to do

I babysat for 7 hours last night, and I got underpaid. Im pissed at my neighbors. I dont think I'll sit for them for a while. I got a dirty diaper thrown at me, and the babies ate so many grapes I was amazed. But I did get to talk to Miles for like half an hour which was really good.

Got home at like 2, went right to bed. I had another Marissa dream again. ugh. Ok well I ended up waking up at 11:30, so I ran out of bed, and called Lauren and Chelsey. Got ready really quickly, went to get them, then went shopping. Got pants and a shirt(which I will do some definite re-modeling on to get rid of the stupid moose on it). Just got home, so now Im trying to think of something to do tonight. Lauren is with Adam, and Chelsey is trying to break things off with Colin. If Chelsey's thing doesnt go too late, we might go see Van Helsing (for me) and Shrek 2 (for Chelsey). And if her thing takes longer than expected...I think Im home again tonight. I really dont want to be here because my dad just got home and I dont want to talk to him right now. It was so nice when he was gone for a while, but whatever. And if Im home, my sister will be on the computer most of the night because she and her friend will be working on a project. Maybe I'll call Erin, but Im not sure if I want to hang out with the neighborhood gang. Ive always been like rivals with them in a way, its weird but funny. Maybe, just maybe, if Im lucky, I'll see Cliff outside with Alex and we'll go find something to do. But like that would happen. Ok Im out.

Mood: tired
Listening to at the moment: Wonderwall- Oasis

2004-05-21T18:14:00.000-05:00

Just knowing this matters, I just feel stronger

Today was like the first actually pretty damn good day at school Ive had lately, probably since things seem to be good with Miles. Lauren asked me why I was smiling so much all day. I even wore my Miles ring today. That made me happy. I got to play some more cello too which always makes me happy. Today in English, Marissa stared at me the whole time for some reason. That was a little awkward but whatever. Afterschool I went to Alyssas with Rachel, and I started having these like huge mood swings. I get on her bus, and I start getting a little irritated with everyone, then we get to Alyssa's and I just wanted to kill everyone. After that, I we went upstairs and I started texting Lauren and Chelsey a lot and I felt better. So then we went to the buffalo place, and I had an ADD attack like none other. Then I was fine after a while, then we walked across the highway to get to Culvers, but we got stuck in the island thing in the middle of the highway. So we just started screaming about random stuff and were laughing so hard I couldve peed my pants. God finally after like 5 minutes on that island thing, there was a red light and we got to get across. Now Im home, and I get to babysit 5 kids in like 15 minutes. God that will be like major mood swings there. Im not even PMSing at the moment so I dont know whats going on. Well whatever. I might go back over to Alyssas tonight but Im not sure if I will or not cause if I did, Brandon would come and get me at like 1 in the morning and Im probably going shopping fairly early tomorrow morning con Lauren y Chelsey. K well Im gonna go check on the message boards quick then Im out. Later

Mood: great right now but it can change within seconds
Listening to at the moment: My Last Breath- Evanescence (When did I start liking them?!?!?! I dont even know. I bet it has to do with my mood swings ahh)

2004-05-20T22:14:00.000-05:00

All the time we've wasted, spent fighting

I am so happy right now I could die. I just like spilled my guts out to Miles, and I think that everything will be alright. First I sent him this huge huge thing because then I know he would read it. He did, and then it all went good from there. I miss him so much, and Im so excited to talk to him tomorrow!!!!! Ahh I love Miles so much. Ok this is all I will post for now. Goodnight

Mood: Im going to explode and happy juice will spill everywhere
Listening to at the moment: Salt In Our Wounds- HIM

2004-05-19T21:36:00.000-05:00

The silent line of sky-lit eyes show death up there shine more brightly than live down here.

Band: Cursive

Male or Female: A girl playing hopscotch with pink ribbon pigtails

Describe yourself: I've been screaming for years, but it gets me nowhere.

How do some people feel about you: That organ's playing my song, but this song's gone on too long.

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Where do I fit in, in this jigsaw of a relationship?!? Why should I play the fall guy to your love? I keep getting snubbed... what dumb luck, what dumb luck

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: dont have one at the moment....

Describe how you live: My ego's like my stomach- it keeps shitting what I feed it

Describe how you love: You're in my web now - I've come to wrap you up tight 'til it's time to bite down

Share a few words of wisdom: We all know art is hard, when we don't know who we are

I love those things. Ok well I cant write much cause I have Spanish homework to do and I want to go to bed soon. Well tonight went alright. Alex was kinda quiet most of the time and Cliff and Brittany were off being silly, but it went pretty good I think at least. I hope we go do something again some other time. Alright, maybe I'll write more tomorrow....

Mood: pretty good actually for once
Listening to at the moment: Rich- Yeah Yeah Yeahs

2004-05-19T16:45:00.000-05:00

Oh you'd make a great secret if I could keep you, but we all spill our guts

Today was alright. Bellamy was sick so my source of entertainment wasnt there today. I hope he's at school tomorrow though. Me and Lauren sat in our old spot today and chatted away about Miles. It was good. I had no hearing in my left ear whatsoever. Its so weird. I think Im going to the doctor tomrorow for it. I think I need to get my ear drained or something ishhhh. Whatever. Being deaf in one ear is actually like dumber than you'd think it would be. I walked into science really late because I never heard the bell ring, and I just started yelling to someone right when I walked in because I didnt know how loud I was talking. That was funny, but still. This is annoying. Ahhhhhhh

Im going out with Cliff Brittany and Alex tonight sometime. Hopefully that will be fun and wont get weird. I bet it will be ok though. He's calling me pretty soon here so I should get going.

Mood: irritated because of my ear
Listening to at the moment: Unholy Confessions- Avenged Sevenfold

2004-05-18T21:20:00.000-05:00

I break in two over you

Everyone was in a shitty mood today, well not really everyone but Lauren was so when Lauren is sad, that means the world must be sorry for her too. That means that we didnt have a Dr. Phil day today but oh well. Thats ok. Played more cello in Orchestra today. Im loving it. I love my violin, but cello is fun too. Well since nothing happend today afterschool, I came home, and watched Interview With The Vampire again. Its really good. Then Brittany called me, and I guess me, her, Cliff, and Alex are going to go somewhere to eat tomorrow after she has track. That hopefully will go good, considering I only really know Cliff and kinda Brittany. Ive never really even sat and talked to Alex, just asked if he was feeling ok one day. Haha Im a loser. But I bet it will be fun.

Ahhhhhhhh Lauren better get over the whole paranoia thing about me and Adam having like an "affair" because it's not going to happen! I'll admit, he is attractive and I could see myself dating him, but he is Lauren's and I could rather see her happy with him, and plus, Im not interested in him right now. He's just cute, but so are like all of the other boys we chill with. Eh, its stupid and I hope she'll get over it soon, and things wont get stupid. Things with me and Marissa were pretty much ruined by drama like this, and me and Katie got into a HUGE fight about this a while ago. God that was the last time I cried and it was like 2 years ago. God Im due for a good cry. But Im thinking it wont happen anytime soon, I just dont cry. Not my style yo!

Mood: tired
Listening to at the moment: The Fiction We Live- From Autumn To Ashes

2004-05-17T17:00:00.000-05:00

Im not worth the sorrow

Well remember how I was excited to go to school today? I lied. Big time. I woke up so tired this morning, but I got up and got to school. Today was alright. Nothing that special happend today. Brittany talked to me again today, she wants to hang out sometime with Cliff and Alex and me. Well that will be interesting but fun I bet. Ok enough, Im gonna go watch Queen of The Damned.

Mood: okay
Listening to at the moment: Baby Got Back- Throwdown

2004-05-16T21:52:00.000-05:00

Countless times I've prayed for forgiveness but Gods just laughed at my face

Alright here's a recap of the last 2 days: Didnt do shit during the day yesterday until like 6:30 because thats when Lauren and Adam got here. So we go upstairs then come outside to wait for Chelsey and Bellamy, and while we are waiting we fine a random sausage in my dad's truck.......ish. Who keeps sausages in their trucks seriously?? God hes so dumb. Well anyway, Chelsey and Bellamy get there, then Lauren and Bellamy run in the house for like 10 minutes. Adam and me are completely clueless about whats happening, until I see Chelsey run up to me, grab me, and Bellamy and Lauren completely cover me in frosting. Ewwww gross, well it ended up turning into this nasty frosting fight in my street, except Adam ran away and didnt get dirty at all. Hes such a clean boy...well clean in the cleans up after himself way. Anyway after that, we go inside and clean up and then go downstairs and Adam gives us a speech about Metallica, then we attempt to go to the park, but it didnt work out so well cause we stopped halfway and came back but Lauren and Adam stayed (ohhhhh scandalious!) while Chelsey Bellamy and me come back and slide down the wet grass on a Little Mermaid sleeping bag. That was fun. Then me and Bellamy wanted to see Chelsey do gymnastics, so we go into my neighbors yard, and I run up on the deck (they werent home and I knew it)to watch her there, and I hear the door open behind me, and it's Cliff and Alex. I totally forgot that he was house sitting there, so me and Bellamy went inside there and talked to them for like 20 minutes. Then we left to go find Lauren and Adam and Chelsey. We did, and when we did, we watched Interview with a Vampire (really good movie). It was perfect timing too cause right when it was done, Bellamy and Adam had to go. So they left, and me Lauren and Chelsey sat around listening to Chelsey talk to herself for a long time until we went upstairs and attempted to sleep.

Alright now today, we woke up at like 9 or so, and sat around my room until Drew calls. Lauren gets off the phone with him and tells us to get ready cause he's taking us somewhere. I was the only one who didnt know where that somewhere was. So at like 11:30 he comes and picks us up, and takes us back to his house where we sit cause he needed to help Jer Bear with the boat and we needed to wait for Colin to get there. Well while we were there, Jerry gives away the secret and tells me that they were taking me to the zoo. Haha silly Jerry had no idea it was a surprise, but whatever. I didnt mind. Anyway, Colin FINALLY showed up at 12:30, and we leave to go pick up Brian. Then we finally get going. It took so long to get there cause we got lost but we got there eventually. It was so fun. We saw the monkeys and got yelled at by a security guard for climbing in the meekrat see-hole thing. We were there pretty much all day and it was fun. So we leave at like 4:30 and to back to Laurens where we sat. I painted part of Lauren's thing for her painting class and she talked on the phone with Miles for half the time. Chelsey and Colin had a good time on the couch, and Drew sat around with me for a while, then made pizza and went on the computer. It was pretty fun. Colin took me and Chelsey home around 8 so I came home and watched part of Viva La Bam and some of Helter Skelter but Im taping it so I can see the whole thing. Wow Ive had a pretty eventful weekend.

Tommorrow is school again but Im like alright with that. I just dont want to go to first hour but I think I'll live. I dunno Im in a weird mood since I got to see Miles' face for the first time in a long long time, and I heard a song by his band. It was ok. He sings and its only ok. I dunno. It was a weird thing for me since I havent talked to him in so long. Im missing so much when it comes to him and I hate it. I miss him so much.

Mood: weird
Listening to at the moment: Big Empty- Stone Temple Pilots

2004-05-15T12:43:00.000-05:00

And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head

Went to Buffalo Wild Wings with Rachel and Alyssa. I had a much better expierence that time than I did the first time I went there with Alyssa and a bunch of diva stars. After that we went to Rachels and me and Alyssa just annoyed the shit out of Rach. She gets so funny when shes stressed. At least no one called the gatehouse on me and Alyssa cause we were running around outside on the golf course. Well we ended up going to bed early, then woke up at 10. I came home really soon after that cause I didnt want to hang around at Rachel's all morning. Bellamy Lauren and Chelsey called when I got home so I talked to them for a while. I guess people are comming tonight. This is actually like hopefully going to work out. Weee I hope it does. And I hope I get to hang out with Cliff before everyone gets here. Hes fun. And I think Alex might be with him so that is a definite plus. Alright Im out to finish my hair.

Mood: anxious
Listening to at the moment: The Reaper- HIM

2004-05-13T19:58:00.000-05:00

If I could only make you make you want to want me

:::...The usual boring bullshit...:::
whats ur name man?:	Sara
do you like it?:	yeah
nicknames?:	too many to name
age?:	15
siblings?:	Samantha
who do you live with?:	mom dad sam dog
do you live in an appartment, trailor, etc?:	house
whats your sign baby?:	Taurus
dick/dickless?:	dickless
where were you born?:	Edina, MN
do you still live there?:	I never did. I was just born there
why/why not?:	because I never lived there in the first place
if not, where do you live?:	Eden Prairie
do ya like it where you are currently residing?:	not so much
are you in highschooL?:	sadly yes
arent your teachers a bitch?:	only one
whats your best friends name?:	Alyssa, Bellamy
is this a guy or a girl, your best friend?:	one's a girl, one's a guy
do you have more friends of the opposite sex?:	actually now that I think about it, I might
why do you think that is?:	girls are so much drama. they're fun, but so stressful. boys you can just run around and have ADD and its just fun because all the boys I chill with are goofballs
:::...social life and school...:::
do you play alot of sports?:	no way
which ones?:	none actually
why?:	dont like sports
if you dont, why not?:	dont like sports
are you afraid of publicity?:	only bad publicity really
would you hump a sign right now in front of 200 ppl you know?:	sure why not
i would. so you got a girl/boy them special ones?:	nope
what's their name?:	n/a
if you dont have one, do ya like being lonely?:	no, its starting to take its toll on me
are you depressed alot?:	not really
what do you think your friends think of you?:	i wouldnt know. im not them
are you a true playerrrr?:	ye ye
i am. so what are your grades?:	A's....
are you proud of them?:	sure i guess. they're just grades
whats the lowest grade you ahve?:	B+
the highest?:	A
who's the bitchiest teacher?:	Garry
the nicest?:	Strassburg or Strand
are you taking any foreign languages?:	yeah
which ones?:	Spanish....
:::...RANDOMNESS...::: say what comes to mind
derek:	Erin
bird:	the crow
keyboard:	Burton
jeff:	dinosaur
sonic:	the hedgehog!
tom:	and jerry
jerry:	Jer Bear
period:	the movie me lauren and bellamy watched
march:	shit month
captain:	planet
smile:	face
rain:	cold
kisses:	fun
aladin:	sword fights with Chelsey
:::...More "just stuff"...:::
what's your favorite cereal?:	Honey Nut Cherrios own your soul bitch
favorite beverage?:	Diet Coke with lime
that was short...:::Illegalizing:::...
do you smoke weed on a weekly basis?:	nope
how bout drinkin??:	nope
do you think marijuana should be legalized?:	dont really care
so do i. why do you think it should/shouldnt?:	dont really care...
whats the most hardcore drug you have ever done?:	alcohol if it counts
when was the last concert you went to and got wasted?:	I go to concerts for music not to get wasted
when was the last party you attended?:	Probably one at Laurens or Chelseys
did you get blazed?:	we're talking about Lauren or Chelsey here.....so definitely not
i did. what did you do this new years?:	Laurens. That was so fun
have you ever been suspended from school?:	no
if so, for what?:	n/a
if not, do you want to be?:	dont really care
have you ever been caught at school w/ guns, drugs, alcohol etc?:	nope
i havent. do you TAKE it to school and sell it?:	nope
are you a total crackwhore?:	totally...it comes out of my bag everytime I take something out of it
have you ever done crack?:	no, thats Bellamys thing...lol
what about ice? lol. same thing stupid.:	lol um alright
methenphatamine?:	nope
the big "E"?:	nope
Weed?:	actually not really.
heroin?:	no
cocaine?:	nope
are you just some goodygood?:	oh totally....
do you go to football games?:	nope
do you get high there?:	i dont go
i do. what about drink?:	thats what you do in 7th grade
i do. how often do you go to an event that you dont do something wrong at?:	pretty often
^including school^:	its pointless doing anything at school because you usually get caught. plus its cheesy
:::SEX::: i know yall perves like this one
what is the most you've done w/ the opposite sex?:	not too much. a couple things
how bout the same sex?:	kissed
ever made out w/ your best friend?:	nope
did you like it? i bet you did:	lol actually not too much
how old were you when you had your first kiss?:	wayyy too young. like first REAL full blown kiss happend when i was like 8. too much mtv when i was little
when you first had sex?:	havent yet
is your pussy all stretchy if you're a girl or a hedero:	nope
do you sell your body for crack money?:	only on monday nights from 7-12...
have you ever given someone 'head'?:	nope
did they like it?:	nope
have you ever done anything sexual with a relative? cousin? etc?:	eww no sorry
eww!:	totally
what about an animal?:	sorry no
^applies to that. have you ever humped a dog?:	nope
how bout a a chair? i have.:	lol no
ever fantasized about a teacher?:	nope
other authority?:	dont think so
do you masturbate alot?:	not really
why/why not?:	Im never really THAT horny i guess
do you use your hand?:	nope
something else?:	nope
have you ever looked at porn?:	yeah
what sites do you go to? I suggest gay british porn:	no sites
do you masturbate to pictures?:	nope
are you gay/straight/bi?:	straight
if you're straight: ever think EVER about the same sex? dont lie:	its never really interested me that much.
are you getting horny right now just thinking about it?:	lol sorry but no
are you attracted to whites/hispanic/africans/canadian?:	whites
:::canadians:::
do you like canadians?:	only erin at times
:::family life:::
were you abused as a child?:	just by mtv
did you tell anyone?:	no
why/why not?:	I didnt know i was being abused
its called 911 kids!! save yourself!! have you ever pranked the police?:	lol no
did your mom find you behind the living room chair and spank ya w/ a book?:	no way
have you ever been spanked with something other than a hand?:	a broom stick but it was a joke with a friend
whats the longest you've been grounded?:	my parents dont ground me
what was it for?:	n/a
do you think you deserved it?:	totally.....no kidding
:::psycho therapy:::
do you bite your fingernails?:	at times
how bout the toes?:	lol oh yea...
do you smoke cigarettes?:	at times
do you like it or just do it to be "cool"?:	to be cool............no kididng. i actually like it
do you think you are cool?:	totally.....kidding im a dork
why?:	i just am. you're born that way.....lol
why not?:	read up ^
if you had the choice to start over, would you?:	maybe. id just change a few things
or would you go 10 years into the future and see where you'd be?:	no. i like surprises
what do you think you'll see in 10 years?:	no idea
what would you do different if you went back?:	a few things.
do you think there is a god?:	no
with that, i'm out... goodbye. SAY BYE! hope you liked it! :):	later

144 QUESTIONS OF PURE...STUFF! :) brought to you by BZOINK!

2004-05-13T18:09:00.000-05:00

Losing my only home in this dark dead world of lust

Today was like a waste. All day I thought it was Friday seriously. Then Aaron said it was Thursday and I got upset. Oh well, tomorrow is Friday so thank god. Had a Spanish test today, dont think I did so hot on that. Same with my science test...Ive gotten so bad at school. Its terrible. I used to be like 4.0, get all my homework done, teachers pet kind of a student. Now, I never do my Spanish homework, thats cause I never actually go to Spanish much anymore. Orchestra is just a goof off class. Science I've always sucked at. And English is just retarded and we usually just rap with Bill the whole time, but he's not in English at the moment. I think he's suspended cause he fought someone I think....whatever.

Hopefully the weekend will be one big party. At least its supposed to be. Friday: Im at Rachel's with Katie and Alyssa. That will be a good reunion thing. Saturday: word on the street is that we're going to the zoo....? But thats just an idea I guess. People are comming over for a "party" hopefully. Otherwise Im going next door to chill with Cliff cause he's house sitting our neighbors house. Wow, he's extremely attractive. Im so happy that we're finally like friends. Now I dont have to admire him from afar anymore...lol kidding but yeah. Hes cute. Well anyway, I hope this weekend will be a good time. Im in need of some actual fun and not just sitting around doing nothing everyday. Im out.

Mood: anxious for tomorrow
Listening to at the moment: Butcher the Song- Cursive (ahh Im so addicted to them right now. I just hope I dont get sick of them. I probably will though....whatever)

2004-05-12T13:45:00.000-05:00

Fall in love to fail
Yesterday was so eventful. It was my birthday so of course it was. Well here's what I did: Its 5:45 in the morning, and I feel people jumping on my bed. First I think that it's my dad, mom, sister, and dog being stupid and waking me up so I started screaming at them. Then I hear a guy's voice say "Daa b!" So I open up my eyes, and its Alyssa, Rachel, and Brandon all jumping on my bed trying to get me up because they had Krispy Kremes and chocolate milk. Woo that was exciting. So I talked to all of them for a while, then took a shower while they sat around and got ready too. Man I got so much done that morning. Well then Brandon drove us to school, and when we got there, we all went separate ways. I go to my locker and Lauren's there so we waiting for other people to get there too. Finally a few people get there, then Adam and Proko show up, and Adam had a birthday present for me. Wow that was unexpected. Well he made me a card, and got me some jelly bellys and a box of honey nut cherrios because they own your soul. So after that, we talked to them for a while. Then Chelsey showed up with a card and some more candy, and she sang her Happy Birthday song. Then we went to class. My classes were really normal. So I got through the day without really anymore birthday things, which was kind of nice. Then afterschool, Drew took Lauren, Bellamy and me home for Dr. Phil day. We watched our show, then we played "games" like "Burn Sara's house down," "Get gel everywhere," "Rub bandaids on Bellamy's face," and "Break Sara's keyboard." Of course they werent real games, but all of that happend, except my house didnt burn down, but Bellamy made the lights flicker. Then after all that, we took Lauren home so me and Bellamy could get ready for our Orchestra concert. That was the longest damn concert ever. 2 and a half hours. Wow. Usually I really like orchestra concerts and stuff, but this one was hell. First, we played. Second, chamber orchestra played and they were really good so I actually listened to them. But third, concert orchestra played and I had the worst ADD attack of my life. We all did. We all were tired and bored so we were making stupid jokes about everything and being really loud. I have a feeling that we're gonna get a lecture tomorrow....great. Finally around 9:30 after Rach, Bellamy, and I did clean up, we left. By then, I realized how much homework I still had to do, so thats when my day started to get shitty. I get home, and have to to return a billion calls I got from relatives, then I had to open 3 pretty shitty presents, then type up a whole story for English. I got to bed really late and woke up in a really bad mood.

Today went like this...went to school after zero hour today since I wasnt ready to wake up on time. Im kinda sad that I did because when I got to school I was mad at myself for not going in on time. Oh well there's always next time. First hour was boring as usual. I didnt have class second hour because we got the day off since we had a concert last night, but I got a bloody nose. Alright I havent gotten one in so long and this one was so bad. Rach sat with me in the bathroom for the whole open hour, but she was like glad that she sat there with me because she didnt have to handle being with Emily and Natalia all hour. Well after that whole thing, I felt so gross. I just had the worst bloody nose ever, I have the sand paper penis from Bellamy down my throat, my head hurt, and I was tired. So I had my mom come get me. So here I am now, at home. I missed kind of an important day in Science and English, but I dont care. Im just waiting for people to get home now. Ahh Im gonna go take a nap. I'll update later.

Mood: gross
Listening to at the moment: Since Always- Give Up The Ghost

2004-05-10T19:29:00.000-05:00

And maybe I'd object If I felt at all alive

Band: HIM

Are you female or male: Poison girl

Describe yourself: Heartache's knocking on her door. Shadows dance outside her window. Tears keep falling on the floor, as the world around her crambles.

How do some people feel about you: You're gone with the sin my Baby and beautiful you are. So gone with the sin my Darling

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: The salvation we seek will be waiting us there in the heart of darkness lonely and scared. With a promise of death for our love.
And now that we're free from the chains of our dear love, I'm lost...so lost

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: dont have one at the moment....

Describe how you live: With every step I take the less I know myself. Every vow I break on my way towards your heart. Countless times I've prayed for forgiveness,
but Gods just laugh at my face. And this path remains leading me into solitude's arms. I seek through the darkness my way back home. The journey seems endless but I'll carry on.

Describe how you love: It's none of your kind, and my wrists are open wide for you. Turning fatal oh I'm dying just to be with you. And there is now way now, no way we can lose but before life tears us apart now, let death come to you. Wont you die tonight for love? Baby, join me in death.

Share a few words of wisdom: Trust is a word all lovers know. The glorious art of staining souls, my darling. We are not the ones to blame. The more we have, the more we want. And the more it hurts our hearts, my baby. It always ends up in tears.

Didnt sleep well last night. Ive been kinda sick lately and I had the third Marissa dream in a row. This time i slept-talked about her. It was weird. Well anyway, I didnt go to Spanish first hour today because I went to the doctor to get my nose and throat checked out. Im alright though. Hmm what else happend today....oh Bellamy got a haircut, but it looks the same as it did before, everyone's mad at Rachel, and yeah not much else besides that happend.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Lauren and Bellamy and maybe Chelsey are comming over to watch Dr. Phil after school I think, then Bellamy and I have an orchestra concert that night. That will be interesting. Alright I got homework to do....

Mood: yucky
Watching at the moment: Viva La Bam (the family reunion episode)

2004-05-08T20:00:00.000-05:00

"Smokng kills, but only love will break your heart"
Went shopping with Lauren today. Got a bunch of stuff. Finally picked up the April issue of Metal Hammer (since I live in the US things get sent here later) with a really long article on HIM. yay Im excited to read that. After shopping, Lauren and I went with Drew to get their mom something for Mothers Day, then we went to Laurens. We were there for a while. Ok so we were sitting upstairs talking to Chelsey before her big bad date with Collin, when we hear the doorbell ring like a billion times. And it ended up being Marissa with Brian, Kyle, and Jeff the dinosaur. So that was weird since Marissa is still stupid about me. I did say the first bad thing Ive said about her in a long time today. Woo that felt good to let something out. But last night, I had a dream that we made up and everything was alright with us. So, because of my dream, I think I MIGHT work up the nerve to call her tomorrow. But thats a HUGE might. Im terrified of that girl.

Well tonight my guess is that Im home again since Lauren is having Marissa over, Rachel is babysitting, Alyssa is out somewhere, and Katie is winding down from her bad week. And everyone else I forgot about so whatever. Maybe I'll actually finish my painting. But thats another big maybe. I dunno if Im in the mood to paint. Ugh maybe I'll Erin. Ahh whatever Im out.

Mood: nervous for tomorrow
Listening to at the moment: Partly Cloudy, With a Chance of Showers- The Fallback

2004-05-07T22:35:00.000-05:00

Victims aren't we all
Woke up this morning at 5:45, knowing that in 2 hours and 5 minutes I would be in Spanish class which kills me. I hate Spanish 1 with all my heart right now. I wake up every morning just dreading the thought of school all because of that class. Well anyway, I made it through that class. We didnt even do anything in it today. We talked about fishing for half an hour, then played a game in the hallway, and then listened to one of those audio/video workbook things, then got out 10 minutes early so I stood at Lauren's French class until the bell rang. At least we didnt want one of those grammer videos. I would rather die than watch those for the rest of my life. Seriously it is torture. Ok ok enough about Spanish. We meditated in Orchestra, and did an icky lab in Science. English we did another free writing thing. I love those so much. They actually are fun for me to do. But the only bad thing was that Bill wasnt there again because I think he has ISS for the next few days. Hmm well we will find out when he comes back.

Everyone went to see Losing Interest and Abdication of a Concience tonight at the 6th grade dance, but I wasnt cool enough to go. Plus I wasnt too up for listening to Austen's gut wrenching voice. Ugh. My sister was there (since she's a 6th grade diva of course) and she said they didnt sound good, but she did have fun. She said she saw a lot of my friends and stuff and they all talked to her. Thankfully, Alex didnt try to pet her and she didnt get raped by any of the other big boys there.

Tonight, instead of the dance, I had good alone time. Even though Ive had a lot of that lately, tonight was good. I didnt even talk to anyone or go online or call anyone to see if they wanted to chill. I just came home and stayed home. I painted more and watched The Crow, which I am still watching but its on pause in the other room. I totally forgot how much I love that movie. Every singe scene is gorgeous and its all just amazing. I love it so much. I havent sat and watched it for a while either so thats probably why I love it so much right now.

Hmm so plans for the weekend....tomorrow Im hoping to go shopping with Lauren and then do something with her tomorrow night, but if I dont, I know Rach wants to chill. I need to talk to her about stuff too so maybe I'll do that. Sunday is Mothers Day, but Mothers Day is never really Mothers Day in my family because my birthday is right around Mothers Day every year so we have a family thing then. My birthday is on the 11th so my family is getting togther on Sunday to celebrate it. I hate birthdays. They've always been bad for me. Its not that I get like shitty presents (thats Christmas time), but like some bad confrentation happens always. And this year, having a big bad birthday party is kinda way out of the questing because of stupid people and yeah. Another thing that makes my birthday bad is that no one ever really remembers it. I know that might sound selfish in a way, but still, it makes you sad knowing that no one remembers your birthday, so you just kinda have to celebrate it yourself. Oh well, Im just crossing my fingers that this year wont be like the rest and I will have a good day.

Ok enough bitching about things tonight. Im off to watch my movie again then go to bed. I need sleep more than anything.

Mood: relaxed
Listening to at the moment: Streetlights, Empty Wells- Anatomy of a Ghost
Watching at the moment: Eric Draven's (Brandon Lee....RIP love) face on my tv. In other words, Im watching The Crow, but its on pause so I could update this.

2004-05-06T17:55:00.000-05:00

Band: Everytime I Die

Are you female or male: She sure as hell ain't you, but lord knows she'll have to do.

Describe yourself: I am a very important person. I've acquired a genetically altered handshake capable of speeds up to 30 mph. Hair arranged by the most advanced landscape surveillance operators our
company can afford.

How do some people feel about you: You said my heart sounded like a payphone in the rain. Distorted, distant, scrambled and desperate

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: I'll be leaving and you can't stop me. We've been carrying on too long.
I'm sorry, but I'm gone. I've got a bad reputation to think about. I've been dirty, I've been wrong. Maybe someday they'll find that I've washed up. I'm stepping out to clear my lungs. I'm breathing in to fill my lungs. We're all dead.

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: dont have one at the moment....

Describe how you live: We don't think in terms of the morning afters, and we don't utter a single word of the night befores.
In the meantime we're just thoughtless incessant buzzing apparatus.
Disillusioned and lonelier than the last man standing. It doesn't get any better than this so run like Hell.

Describe how you love: Drag the lake. You will find it is full of love.

Share a few words of wisdom:The greatest lovers were murderers first.

2004-05-06T16:15:00.000-05:00

And Im worried with no reason why
Havent posted in a while. Lets see....Tuesday I dont remember what I did actually. Wednesday I skipped 1st hour and babysat most of the night. Heard some not too good stuff about a few people. Today Bellamy finally stayed home and Im glad because the poor guy has been so sick lately. He got a bloody ear! Who on this whole earth gets bloody ears? Oh well at least he's home getting better. Even though hes going to big bad band practice tonight......

So much homework to do and I want to finish my painting. I'll post a picture of it when Im finished with it.

Mood: stressed
Listening to at the moment: 12/23/93- Poison the Well

2004-05-03T21:56:00.000-05:00

"It seriously feels like somebody shoved a penis covered in sand paper down my throat."
Thats my favorite quote from today by Bellamy. Hes had a weird last few weeks. In spanish, hes taking notes then he said he saw swirling colors everywhere and he felt like he wanted to puke, but he came over later that day, and he felt fine. Then today, his ear started bleeding (like from the inside, not the lobes), and he felt like he had a fever and a sore throat (hense his quote). Hmm well I hope he's alright.

Today was Dr. Phil day because his new special thing started. Its on for 2 weeks. What the fuck? I dont get why people go on those shows when if they want real help they dont just go to another theropist thats not the host of his own television show. But then again, if publicity seekers like those on the show didnt sign up to be on it, then what would Lauren and I watch on Tuesdays (or Mondays in today's case)?

Tomorrow Im helping Alyssa with ceramics. Im excited about that because I really miss ceramics. Espically hand building. I made this huge clay jack-o-lantern with a hollow tree with branches comming out of every side of it on the inside of the pumpkin. It turned out acutually pretty damn good if I do say so myself.

Mood: too awake
Listening to at the moment: Drowining Lessons- My Chemical Romance

2004-05-02T11:50:00.000-05:00

Shirt:	Laurens grey long sleeved
Underwear:	Black
sweatshirt/jacket:	Grey sweater that I just wear around the house
Pants/skirt/shorts/etc...:	Alyssa's old pants she gave me. I only wear these around the house too
Shoes/socks:	None
Song you are listening to:	Mass As Shadows- Thursday
Beverage you are drinking:	None
Food you are eating:	None
Conversation you are having:	None
Emotion you are feeling:	Anxious
Person in the room with you:	Myself
Buddy icon:	I think its still a picture of Miles' hip but Im not sure what it is
Away message:	None, Im not online
Favorite quote:	Too many to name all of them. I'll name 2."Come on baby and dance again. Jerk that head and be my friend"- Turbonegro. And the other one is all the lyrics to Enjoy the Silence
Favorite movie:	So many...Donnie Darko.The Crow.Requiem for a Dream.Romeo+Juliet.NBC.Underworld.Sleepy Hollow.etc......
Concert you plan to attend:	Dead Poetic on May 13th. And hopefully Atreyu/FATA on May 9th
Person/situation you are angry with:	The me and Marissa situation
Desktop theme:	Poision the Well
Cell phone ring:	Pardon Me- Incubuc
City and state you are living in:	Eden Prairie, MN
Place you are attending school:	EPHS
Place you are working:	No where
Color of your walls:	yucky sky blue. Im painting it hopefully soon though
Poster/picture in your room that you love:	I have so many and I love them all. But I'd probably have to say my Razorblade Romance poster.
Family member you miss:	I dont really miss any of them actually. Probably Jessica if I had to choose

Currents brought to you by BZOINK!

2004-05-02T11:32:00.000-05:00

Hoping for the best, just hoping nothing happens.

Would you rather be an African elephant or an Asian elephant? Why?:	hmm I think Id rather be an African one because the open land there seems more beautiful to me than Asia. Theres too many people in Asia too
Would you rather freeze to death or burn alive? Why?:	Freeze because Im already used to being cold all the time.
Name three movies you like:	Donnie Darko. Sleepy Hollow. Underworld.
Name three books you like:	Requiem for a Dream. Waiting Period. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
Have you ever fallen in love with a fictional character? Which one(s)? Why?:	Jack Skellinton from Nightmare Before Christmas because I remember I used to obsess over him when I was little and Id watch the movie
Republican, Democrat or other? Why?:	Im not into politics at the moment
Attendance percentage at high school dances?:	eh, like 30% or so. I went to 2 of them this year
What television shows do you watch regularly?:	Oprah
Abortion is...:	your decision.Its your body. If youre not ready to bring another human into the world,then you have to be responsible and make a good decision.No one else can do it for you.
The death penalty is...:	not necessary.
How do you take your coffee?:	2-3 creams. 5 sugars.
How do you take your tea?:	straight
Who's your favorite teacher/professor?:	Mr. Strassburg, my orchestra teacher in 7th grade, 9th grade, and soon to be 10th grade.
How do you feel about your parents?:	So lucky to have them. They are like a PG version of Bam Margera's parents, meaning that they are really layed back and like to have fun, but they are still responsible.
What sort of music do you listen to?:	Hardcore, metalcore, love metal, indie, some emo, some industrual
List five or ten bands you listen to.:	HIM. Blood Brothers. Thursday. Poison the Well. Atreyu. As I Lay Dying. The Bled. Dead Poetic. Dope Stars Inc. Everytime I Die. etc....
Do you use public transportation?:	Not really
Ever told someone you love him/her?:	Yeah
Morning person, night person or both?:	Night person
Siblings?:	Sister
What are your friends like?:	They're all different. Unique in their own ways
Amusement parks are?:	Fun but sticky and gross
Cafeterias are?:	ishy
Dogs are?:	cute but annoying at times
Any phobias, traumas or other weirdnesses?:	Im extremely afarid of fish. They scare me more than anything in the world.

The Personality Resume brought to you by BZOINK!

Got woken up by Kdogg at like 7:50 this morning. Sunday mornings are always an adventure when everyone's home in my house. Thats like the one time of the week when me and Kdogg fight. Well I got up finally, and had to go to church. I wonder if my family has caught on yet that I dont really believe any of it anymore. Well whatever, they will eventually. Anyway, I got home around 9:30 and so now Im waiting until like 12 because then Lauren will be home probably and I'll hear about her night last night. I hope she had fun. Alright we'll Im off to go find something else to do. Maybe have my mom take me out for coffee or something. Im craving a Mint Snowdrift or Carmel Highrise or anything with coffee in it. Besides instant. Eww Sam and I decided last night that instant coffee sucks dick so no more of that.

Mood: anxious
Listening to at the moment: Tip Your Bartender- Glassjaw

2004-05-01T17:14:00.000-05:00

Thankfully, I dont miss your skin
Ive been thinking a lot for a few days now and Im starting to think that Im over Austen. He's very different than he was a little while ago which makes me sad, but I think Im done with all that drama. Hes ishy to me now and I cant stand to be around him. I could go on and on forever about him but I wont. Theres just so much now that Im seeing about him that I dont like and Im surprised I didnt see before. Well people grow up and change. This is a good thing though. Im feeling better.

Anyway....Got back from my piano recital like an hour ago. It was alright I guess. I messed up my piece a bit but I kept going to it was all good. My piano teacher and another lady played Dolly (six different duets). I didnt like it that much. I dont like the style of music it was but I did like the lullaby in the beginning. Ok enough of this music stuff.

Well plans for tonight....Alyssa may come over tonight but that is only if I can wake her up. That girl sleeps like a rock.

Mood: smelly from the chinese place
Listening to at the moment: Horns and Tails- Poison the Well

2004-05-01T13:52:00.000-05:00

No one's gonna catch you when you fall
Went to Chelsey's after school yesterday and ate pizza with Lauren, Chelsey, and Chelsey's sister and her friend. Her sister was supposed to have her boyfriend over but their deal got really messed up. Her boyfriend worships me, its funny. But whatever, he's really weird. Anyway, we ate outside, then came in and watched Haunted Mansion (yesterday was like Disney Movie day). Then we had like this whole discussion over dinner with her parents about the school lockdown last week. They are making so many new rules at my school for next year. We might have to wear badges to get in, there will be like 938402 more cameras and security guards, and more things. Hmm I dont care so much but other people do so we'll see what happens with that. Anyway, after dinner, we went downstairs and cleaned Chelsey's room, cause it was a disaster, and ate German candy from like last summer. Mmmmmmmmmm it was good though. After that, we went to Lauren's house and watched Aladdin (like I said, it was Disney Movie night) and me and Chels had a sword fight. Woo it was fun. Accidentally woke up with Lauren and Chelsey at like 7 this morning ( I was gonna stay at Laurens house and sleep after they all left) but it was ok. Went home around 8 and then went to chinese with Alyssa. Just got back from that and I just remembered that I have a piano recital at 3, so I gotta get going, I'll post later.

Mood: smelly from the chinese place
Listening to at the moment: Counterparts and Number them- Alexisonfire

2004-04-29T21:11:00.000-05:00

I hope they love you like I did when you needed me and I came for you that night
So hard to wake up this morning, I thought it was Friday but when I got in the shower, I remembered it was only Thursday. Damn you memory. School was ok, we had a guest conductor in Orchestra, she was really good. I liked her. Got home, sat around watching Viva La Bam and The Simpsons. Kdogg and mom went to this dinner party somewhere far away, so Orangie and me had the house to ourselves. We actually did something. We had the ultimate water fight in the house tonight. It was the second flood that has happend in my house. Whatever, it was fun.

Plans for the weekend? No idea yet. Saturday hopefully something with Lauren after her date with Adam. Otherwise maybe Alyssa. Friday no idea, hopefully something will happen but I bet I'll end up at home again.

Mood: itchy
Listening to at the moment: Sound of Sulfur- The Bled

2004-04-28T18:18:00.000-05:00

But I won't fall on the knife that killed the American dream
The fetus's of a few friends of mine....

Bellamy the fetus align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' pikachu fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Alyssa the fetus align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' easter bunny fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Chelsey the fetus align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' Scotty fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! (she loves plaid....a lot)

haha Austen the fetus..... align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! see he was even emo as a fetus

Lauren the fetus align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' pirate fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Even though I am little and blonde, according to some people, this would be me as a fetus... align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' gothy fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Marissa as a fetus... align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

My ceramics project as a fetus... align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' halloweeny fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Ok see how stupid I am? Fetuses. yeah..........ok no more of that. Ah must do homework now!

Mood: stressed
Listening to at the moment: Shock to the system- Dope Stars Inc.

2004-04-27T21:53:00.000-05:00

There was a time when I could breathe my life into you
Today was alright. It went by fast. Made a skit for Spanish, played fiddle in Orchestra, skipped 3rd to go to this SEGO presentation on energy stuff. Most boring hour-and-a-half of my life. I understood like a little more than half of what it was all about. It was just like one long presentation/lecture on the earth's temperature and the ozone layer and stuff like that. The lady kept looking at Bellamy, Lauren, the other guy that was with us (cant spell his name), and me from the stage cause we kept laughing and stuff. Whatever it was fun but boring. Lunch was awkward cause Austen and Marissa were both in it for most of the time, but Lauren (being the AMAZING friend that she is) stayed with me the whole time so I didnt have to go sit with them. English was fun as usual with my rapping English gang. Lauren and Bellamy came over for McDonalds day. We watched some Dr. Phil, then some Hellfest, then straightened Bellamy's hair while watching Beetlejuice for a while. Then we went upstairs and went through all my drawers and my closet for some reason. Bellamy found this "really scene" jean jacket, and I found old notes and my old drug rug. lol I cant believe I actually had one of those. Then we ran around outside and Lauren left, so me and Bellamy went and swang at the park. Quite fun. I got to talk to Lauren for a few minutes while Bellamy was off being silly on a bike somewhere, which was good cause I always talk to her on Tuesdays.

Sorry not much to talk about right now, later

Mood: thoughtful
Listening to at the moment: Beautiful- HIM

2004-04-26T20:39:00.000-05:00

I cant take it anymore. When Im with you, I feel like Im nothing
The Generic Teenager Stereotype
Do you drink [alcohol]?: depends, at times
Do you party a lot? How often?: yeah I guess, on weekends or days I have off
Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?: naw
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?: dont ask
Do you skip classes? How often?: every now and then, only if Im not up for going to class or if its pointless to go like if theres a sub
Do you have casual sex? Protected?: Nah
Do you steal?: used to, only from friends now, stupid things like pieces of gum
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?: I wouldnt call it inappropriate, but others might
Do you drool over celebrities?: I dont drool....just admire from afar
Do you watch a lot of TV?: yes and no, Ive always watched a lot of tv so its kinda a bad habit. but Im starting to not as much
Do you ever watch the News?: Yes
Do you even care about world issues?: depends on what it is
Do you read books often?: I usually have a book that Im reading
Are you failing a lot of your classes?: nope
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?: yeah I guess
Do you smoke cigarettes?: yes and no
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?: nope
Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?: yeah
Do you cuss a lot?: not as much anymore but I do
Are you desperate to fit in?: totally.....kidding
Are you intelligent?: Im told I am, and I like to think so

The Goth Stereotype
Black lipstick?: If you can pull it off, go for it
Black eyeliner?: definitely
Black eyeshadow?: Yeah
Black trenchcoat?: once again, if you can pull if off, go for it
Black boots?: used to have this kickass pair, they dont fit me anymore tho. I must get another
Black fishnets?: oh yeah
Black nail polish?: Im lovin it
Cigarettes?: Yes
Heavy metal music?: of course
Marilyn Manson?: Some
Kittie?: Evil
Cradle of Filth?: sure why not
Constant frown and perpetual angst?: Haha no
Do you like to be seen as: as a goth? Well a few people, surprisingly (Im a little blonde haired girl with big blue eyes by the way, but I guess they call me it because of what I wear/what music I listen to/what Im into), do see me as goth, but I dont care. I dont like stereotypes but if they feel the need to call me it, go for it
Are you an intellectual?: I think so heh
An atheist?: Yes
Horrible home life?: naw
Hopelessly depressed?: nope
Suffering with suicidal idealations?: no
Self-mutilation?: nope

The Punk Stereotype
Plaid?: haha yea
Big black boots?: once again, I want a new pair!
Mohawk?: eh, if you can pull it off go for it, it looks sweet on some people, but to me its kind of cliche.
Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]: yeah, but not too many, dont over-do it
Loud, confident and opinionated?: not to the point where its obnoxious
Wild hair colors?: not usually, but it does look good on some people. I knew this girl who had long green/blue/purple hair and it looked AMAZING on her
NOFX?: sorry no
Rancid?: nooo way
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?: I'm not liking Americans...even tho I am one.
A: hole

The Jock Sterotype
What's your IQ?: never taken an IQ test
Do you watch a lot of sports?: nope
Play a lot of sports?: definitely no
Talk a lot about sports?: take a wild guess.....
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?: once again, just guess
Are you arrogant?: Like to think I'm not
Are you a male or female whore?: you tell me ;)
Are you homophobic?: so far from it
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?: no but I know many people who do
But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?: I will admit, I am insecure about some things, but I would like to think of myself as a lot more confident than many people when it comes to some things
Boobs = yes?: hahah hooray for boobies! lol kidding, they kind of suck
Parties = yes?: why not, I love a good party, not an emo fest tho
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?: whatever floats your boat I guess...

The Girl Stereotype
Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?: eh, not too much time but an considerable amount
Have you ever been on a diet?: not really, but I do try to eat healthy
How much did you lose?: n/a
Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?: haha no
Make yourself throw up?: naw, too scary for me
Make-up?: yeah but not a whole ton
Low-cut tops?: not too many
How big are your boobies? [Cup size]: umm 32-24 B I think, Im very happy with them though, huge boobs are kinda gross looking to me
Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?: probably
Giggle a lot?: eh yeah probably
What's the deal with boys?: They're usually funner than some girls but only the ones that actually remember what its like to have a good time, and arent consumed with their issues.
Thongs?: love 'em
Pretty bras?: love 'em
YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?: they make me smile because they are funny
Who's the weaker sex?: its not one whole sex thats weeker, just certain people in each sex are weaker than others
Are you a feminist?: No they suck
Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?: eh, not my type
How often do you shave your legs?: hahaha no often enough......
How about your armpits?: Daily
Are you emotional?: no, I dont think its healthy tho. I havent cried in years...
Especially when on your period?: nope

This Or That [Oh, that old coconut.]
Originality or Acceptance?: Originality
Independence or Companionship?: Companionship, but everyone should at least be comfortable being independent
Stability or Freedom?: eh...a little of both. More freedom though
Personal or Interpersonal?: Interpersonal
Introvert or Extrovert?: Extrovert
Popularity or Isolation?: Isolation
Unique or Loved?: Unique
Understood or Individual?: Individual
You or Them?: Them

Lets start w/ simple qs...
are you afraid of death?: not anymore
do you want to get married?: yes
if you could marry anyone right now who would it be?: dont ask.....
what 5 things/people would you bring with you to a deserted island?: violin, my cds, Bellamy, Alyssa, and a box of Honey-Nut Cherrios

now we're gonna delve deeper into ur psyche.. mua ha ha ha
wat color describes your mood?: right now, a calm green. Ive been told my auroa or whatever lately has been an orange-ish color with yellow and red mixed in (dont ask, my friend says he can sense auoras..hes a little...um "out there")
who would you die for?: sadly, probably Austen before anyone. I still care about him that much. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!!?
now really... would you honestly DIE for them?: only if I could save him and let him live, but only if he wanted me to
would u rather go w/out chocolate for the rest of ur life or sex?: chocolate
wat about chocolate or money?: if i didn't have money i'd die, sadly everyone would....but i hate money so uhh chocolate
would you rather be alone and rich or with friends and poor?: friends and poor definitely
have you ever truely been in love? like not all that puppy love crap?: I definitely think so
u see and old, poor lady drop a $20-do u give it to her or take it?: give it back
if you took it would u be at all guilty?: god yes I would
have u ever wanted to take anything back?: yes
wat was it that u did?: stuff I said
do you believe in fate?: yeah I guess
if u dont then how do u think u came into being?: I think it was all science. We came from the earth, we will return to the earth someday. But our thoughts will go someplace else. I just havent discovered where that someplace else is yet
now think of the odds of that: umm ok well I dont know if this is the "odds and ends" of it but whatever. I dont really believe in one true religion right now. I dont consider myself a Christian anymore, because of the fact that I dont believe in God as much as I used to. Our thoughts and memories will go somewhere when we die, I will figure out where that is someday, but right now, I have no idea where that place is
do you ever think youll fall in love?: I have once, I hope to again someday
have u ever kept somthing inside of you that no one ever knew about?: I still do
do you wanna finally confess it now?: um not really, but I did confess stuff to Austen once and I will never regret that. Even tho things didnt work out, Im glad I said what I did, but I wish I wouldve said more.
wat are you most afraid of?: Fish (lake fish espically) and the new Michael Jackson
wat was ur worst nightmare?: my dad didnt come to save me when I was burning somewhere
your best dream?: my Ville Valo dream, it was very artsy and pretty in my mind
do you believe dreams tell the future?: yeah
do you believe in astrology?: yeah most of it
psychics?: depends....some things are pretty amazing
are you one of those people who dont believe in anything?: haha no
k almost done... u sick of this survey?: no i liked it
are you ready for summer?: ahh yes
do you like summer?: its alright, at least theres no school :) Fall is the best though

Mood: itchy
Listening to at the moment: Stigmata Diaboli- HIM

2004-04-25T21:21:00.000-05:00

My skull is so full its tearing me apart
Its funny how you can learn so much about people in less than 5 minutes. Hearing so much new news, not like about me but in the long run, this is some of the most surprising news Ive heard. Too much to take in. I just hope everyone will be alright and I wont seriously lose anyone I love.

Mood: blank
Listening to at the moment: Cherry Kiss- From Autumn To Ashes

2004-04-25T20:41:00.000-05:00

Look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares. Gets me down but Im still gonna try and do what's right
At Alyssas all weekend. It was fun but really long. Friday we went to Rachel's for like an hour. Rach's boyfriend, Ryan, was there too. He attempted to get into this whole know-it-all HIM discussion with me because he wanted to show off to me (he knows Im like probably the #1 HIM hack in the school...and Im damn proud of it!). Ryan said that one of his friend told him that HIM changed their name to Himsa.....sorry Ryan, Himsa is totally different band, they're pretty good too. Well we left Rachels and went home and went to bed at like 10:30. Woke up with Alyssas cat on my face at 8:30, took a shower, then I started ache like hell. But we went shopping anyway, and we spent such a long time at the mall too. Didnt buy much, but I did find see Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights and And Love Said No at Hot Topic for $30. Not too bad considering that they're both imports. So I picked up DSBH because I only had that one on a burnt cd. Got home, and at this point I felt shittier than ever, but we went to Calebs anyway. All of Alyssas friends are totally different than me and my friends, but I can get along with them. I was super groggy that night so I laughed at everything so I had a fun time even tho I was sick. After like 30 minutes at Calebs, we were all shipped off to Buffalo Wild Wings to meet even more people. Me and Alyssa left after like 20 minutes there because it was way to crowded and we wanted to go home. Got home, sat online for like 2 hours, then Brandon got home and took us to Wendys at like 12. After Wendys, we went to bed. Got up at like 10, and sat around and watched tv all day today. Called Lauren when I got home and she wanted me to go to church, so I did. Didnt do much there, just chatted about her weekend. Got home from that and now Im here....

My birthday is in 2 weeks but Im not really excited at all. Things are still so fucked with my friends that having a party is totally out of the question at this point. Last year's party was so fun, we actually video taped most of it. Hopefully something will happen this year, even if it's little.

Bam's new house is amazing, or at least his dining and living rooms are. Im definitely jealous. But I do wonder what he will be doing with his life when hes like 50. I know that like his show isnt the only thing he does but still Im curious.

Yes! Now I get to go do English homework! My favorite....kidding

Mood: sick
Listening to at the moment: Love Will Tear Us Apart- Joy Division

2004-04-22T20:32:00.000-05:00

Chemicals displaced
Wooooo exciting day. Ok here's what happend: Got to school wearing the most random clothes in the world, so I changed. Then like a minute before the 1st bell rung, we started getting shoved into random classrooms and they said over the intercom that it was a lockdown, but we all thought it was just thought it was a drill. So Chelsey, Kayti, Lauren, and I sat around for half an hour just talking and coloring and playing gameboy and had fruit snack battles. Then Lauren called Jer-Bear (who is a cop) and he told us that it wasnt a drill and we all had to get down and shut up. So Lauren started yelling for everyone to go far away from windows and the door. The only thing you could hear in that room was Lauren yelling SHUT THE FUCK UP to everyone. No one calmed down of course but finally they at least settled down. 45 minutes after that, 2 ladies walk in our room asking for the teacher, but there was no teacher. Then they told us that they would send one down, and they leave......well 2 HOURS LATER, Schmitty (the security guard) finally came and told us that we were gonna be able to leave and go home. But the catch was that we had to wait another HOUR to leave the building, then we finally did and sat in the football stadium for another HOUR AND A HALF. After waiting for all the buses to get dismissed, Drew, Lauren and me ran to the car at the community center, and went to Subway. It was like 12:30 or 1 when we got there, and Drew wanted to stay, so Lauren called her mom to come get us. So she did and we went to get Chelsey from her house, and went back to Laurens. So we decided to go chill at the park and have a picnic. So we're having this nice picnic and talking about our day then Marissa calls Lauren and wants to go talk to her. So she ditches me and Chels (but its alright) and walks to find Marissa. Chelsey and I waited for my mom to come get us and take us to Laurens, but I had to go right away cause I had to babysit. Well there is more details about this whole school attempted shooting and stuff but Im not in the mood to type it all right now, maybe tomorrow. Its so crazy, you never expect something like this to happen to you. This just proves that you're never 100% safe no matter where you are.

Ugh school again tomorrow, you'd think they'd cancel it after all this junk that happend today, and plus they havent even found the gun that the guy had yet. Im not liking that because I dont like the idea of a random gun that could be laying somewhere in the school. And plus, tomorrow would be soooo nice if it was canceled because tomorrow Im going to Alyssas for the weekend. So yes Im excited for that. I was very sad that I didnt have Bellamy with me today. He keeps me really happy, so I miss him right now....ahh I never thought I'd say that. Ok well I have to go call Lauren and pack for the weekend. Later my loves

Mood: stressed....so much to do, so little time
Listening to at the moment: Killbot 2000- Murder By Death

2004-04-21T18:59:00.000-05:00

We are the most impassioned ugly people
School is starting to go by slower and slower everyday. Today was just kinda....blah. I looked really shitty today and no one was really in that great of a mood. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and something will actually happen that everyone will be talking about! Its so weird, there is like nothing really at all to talk about at the moment so everyone just walks around the hallways way more quiet than normal. The weird thing is that our school is so massive, yet no one is really talking about anything right now....hmmm

Senor Tappy wasnt at school today so we have to do our Spanish oral thing tomorrow instead. I have a test tomorrow in English too....woo. Lauren and Casey came home with me today because Drew was an ass and didnt take them to Starbucks right after school, and Lauren didnt want to ride her but home because she didnt want to have to deal with people. So we sat around eating mac and cheese, doing tarot cards, watching Lauren talk to Adam online, and listened to like the 3 songs Lauren likes to listen to a lot. She was in a poopy/goofy mood today so she was bossy and did what she wanted to to. lol but thats alright, we love Lauren anyway.

As I was saying, since there is nothing to talk about, theres nothing really to talk about in this thing either.

Mood: anxious for Friday so that the school week is over
Listening to at the moment: Reflections- From Autumn To Ashes

2004-04-20T21:33:00.000-05:00

Judge me, fuck you. Stop playing god
Today went by so unbelieveably slow. I could not focus at all today, everything was blurry and I was groggy to the max today. Took a test in Spanish, and I have an oral thing tomorrow in Spanish that Im totally not ready for. Lauren came over for McDonalds day today, but on May 3rd, its Dr. Phil day, and its at her house for a change that day. Hmm well today we sat around watching HIM videoes, listened to a Thrice song she liked about 5 times, and watched Dr. Phil and Oprah. And we played the lyrics game later online after she left. Wooo fun.

Oh yeah Happy 4.20 for those of you who celebrated. I didnt but still, I hope everyone had a fun time today.

Mood: disgusting, I want to go to bed so bad, my grogginess is comming back
Listening to at the moment: Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste- Norma Jean

2004-04-19T16:00:00.000-05:00

Wasting words for lowercases and capitals
School dragged on forever. Today was like the first day Ive been actually tired in a long time, so is that a good or bad thing? I dunno. Talked to Bellamy and Casey a bit about their expierences Friday night at Austens party. They called it emo-fest because no one the was happy. Well besides Jacob, Josh, and Bellamy but they're like me. They DO have emotions but they arent like totally consumed by them and are strong and like to have a good time. After hearing about times like that, Im kinda glad I didnt have to go through that but I still miss certain people a lot.

Not much to write about today, so Im out. Later

Mood: okay
Watching at the moment: Video for Bowl of Oranges- Bright Eyes

2004-04-18T22:01:00.000-05:00

When you dont have a thing to believe in, then you will finally have something to scream about
This is so random but I am the strongest person I know, like emotionally strong. I have shit of my own going on right now and yet Im still like happy and fine around everyone. And I take so much of everyone else's shit and Im just like eh Im fine, even though I know that Im really not. The thing is that no one really asks how Im doing at all and so it seems like no one really cares but Im fine alone, or at least I hope I am. I dont want to be alone but I guess Im starting to get used to it. I just hope all of this is a phase and it blows over soon. It probably is so thats good, Im gonna think positive about all of it. Ive been doing that about everything else thats going on so Im just gonna stick with my attitude about everything. Something isnt right, like something is different than it was before. I feel alright I guess but I know something isnt the same anymore. I just really cant put my finger on what it is though. Hopefully I will find out what it is soon. Maybe it has to do with my major lack of sleep. I seriously have insomnia or something, I really need to go to the doctor I dont like this. Whatever, Im out

Mood: blank
Listening to at the moment: Generation Plastic- Dope Stars Inc. (I cannot get enough of these guys right now I love it)

2004-04-18T19:32:00.000-05:00

Im sorry Im sorry Im not sure
Woke up at fucking 7 this morning to go babysit. Got over tehre, watched October Sky with the girls. Then I had to get them to get dressed up to go to lunch with me and my family for my dad's birthday party. I had to bring them because I forgot about the party and told their mom Id babysit. Getting two little elementry kids dressed up is so much harder than you'd think. Now I know what my parents went through with me and my sister when we were little. K so that took about 20 minutes or so to pick out shirts that they'd wear, but eventually we made it out of the house and over to mine. So we got to the Women's Club and ate, hung out there for like an hour or so, then got out of there. It smelled like old ladies, old men and bacon......ish. It was kinda pretty outside though because there was this HUGE park across the street, forgot the name of it though. I wish I had a camera with me to take pictures.

After all that was done, I got home and Alyssa called and came over. We went for a walk kinda then came home and ordered pizza and watched chainsaw massacre again. It gets stupid the more you see it. Its not scary so thats why. After that we went outside and watched the huge storm that rolling through right now and took pictures out there. I wish I could see outside right now but my blinds are shut down here and I dont really feel like getting up to open them.

Hmm well tomorrow is school again. Im fine about that. I just wish that I could fast forward my day to second hour right away to I wouldnt have to go to first hour Spanish with Senor Tappy...ugh. I think I have a test in that class tomorrow too so that makes me not want to go even more. Ok no more complaining, I think Im gonna go watch tv.

Mood: ishy. I ate too much
Listening to at the moment: Shines Through- Hopesfall

2004-04-17T18:42:00.000-05:00

Drag the lake. You'll find its full of love
Alyssa came over today and watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It was actually alright. Killer movies Ive always thought were pretty lame because they're really predictable but this one (even though you know what would happen), its actually a mostly true story. Like they showed police footage in the beginning and the end that proved that the guy who did all of it was real. I find it all very interesting.

Well tonight is kinda fucked because Im babysitting tomorrow morning at like 8 so that kinda sucks. I may see what Lauren's doing if I can actually find her. Eh, I should call. Whatever. We'll see what happens

Mood: groggy and aching, dont know why though
Listening to at the moment: Im Overdriven- Dope Stars Inc.

2004-04-16T16:18:00.000-05:00

Just knowing this matters, I just feel stronger
Got to school, played "seis" in Spanish, medatated in Orchestra (seriously we did), talked about movies with Jenna and the guy that sits nex to me in Science, and listened to Mike, Karl, and Bill play guitar and sing/rap in English. Thats pretty much all that happened today so far, its been more interesting than most days. So it was good.

Next weekend is the "Big Kiki Weekend" for me and Alyssa. Last time we were together for a whole weekend, we seriously flooded my house. That was the funniest fucking thing that has ever happend to us. Waterfalls were like all over my house and we just laughed the whole time. Then bid Kdogg came home and saw a little but of water and was like "SON of a..."then stopped and then he saw the most massive waterfall in the world and yelled "SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!" it was so fucking funny you wouldnt understand. No one really cared too much about it though. $1000 worth of damage but kdogg didnt like get really pissed at all. So Im very excited to see what will happen this time, but we're at her house this time. Probably just trips to Wendys with Brandon every few hours. So Im excited.

Yeah as you can probably tell, theres not much for me to talk about right now.....um tonight? I dont really know what Im doing for sure yet. I may go to Laurens when she gets home but shes getting home around 11. Otherwise....I dunno, I wonder if Katie is home...hmm maybe I should call her....see Im just going on and on because theres nothing else really to talk about. So Im leaving right now.

Mood: Bored out of my mind
Listening to at the moment: To Raise and Avenge the Dead- Thrice....its changing.......hahaha its This Is Halloween from Nightmare Before Christmas. I love this song "Lifes no fun without a good scare. Thats our job but we're not mean in our town of Halloween"

2004-04-15T20:26:00.000-05:00

Underneath it all, there is still life
Yay Thursday, one more day and its Friday. Even though I dont know what I will do yet...

GG got dress code today! It was very exciting for me to see this happen. She was wearing a brown shirt with this white silky tank top shirt outside of it, and she got dress code for it because the white silky shirt was considered to be an "undergarment"...??? That doesnt make much sense to me how she couldnt wear that but she pretty much announced to everyone in the commons why she got it. Ive never heard her yell before....very exciting. So she took off her garbagy white silky shirt and just wore the brown one for a while, but later I saw her walking down the hallway with the white thing on again. Oh what a rebel that GG is....that was probably the most exciting part of the day. Wow, that just amazes me how theres nothing better for me and other people to do, so we just watch this girl who we dont even know very well at all. There is serious not much else to do though with all the free time we end up having in school...god we're such losers, or at least I am.

Well the rest of the day was not very eventful at all. After school got home, drew Lauren a picture of her for her painting class because she's not good at noses while watching I Want A Famous Face. And Im just gonna stop here cause I know if you're reading this you're probably going to shoot yourself now because my day is very boring to hear about...

Mood: meh
Listening to at the moment: Distance Is Darkness- As I Lay Dying

2004-04-14T22:20:00.000-05:00

Eh........survey time

current clothing:	old rios, alexisonfire shirt
current mood:	bored
current taste:	nothing
current hair:	its up right now actually
current annoyance:	my hair
current smell:	my house...?
current thing you ought to be doing:	going to bed or reading
current jewelry:	"We Can Rise" bracelet,moms copper bracelet,hemp bracelet,3 rings,this black string thing,and the hemp necklace with the metal thing my mom made
current book:	Requiem for a dream....again
current refreshment:	nothing
current worry:	that I wont get up in the morning
current crush:	eh dunno, theres just a few guys that are very attractive around my school
current favorite celebrity:	Ville Valo
current longing:	to talk to someone...
current music:	nothing right now actually
current wish:	I have too many
current lyric in your head:	"Words are very unnecessary cause they will only do harm"- Enjoy the Silence
current makeup (if you're a girl!):	just the usual right now, face powder, black eyeliner, mascara....
current undergarments:	thats for me to know..
current regret:	too many
current desktop picture:	Poision the well
current plans for tonight/weekend:	tonight-go to bed,weekend- probably hang out with rach or lauren and go to chinese with alyssa im guessing. otherwise I have no idea
current cuss word du jour:	asshole
current disappointment:	That Miles was going to actually call me and talk to me last week but he didnt
current amusement:	this fucker
current IM/person you're talking to:	Bellamy, but I think hes leaving me soon
current love:	Lauren
current obsession:	GG of course
current avoidance:	certain people
current thing or things on your wall:	pictures of friends,tdf poster,razorblade romance poster,random band pictures/articles,random drawings and other shit
current favorite book:	Requiem or Waiting Period or those Unfortunate Events books (the second one is the best Ive read so far that I can remember)
current favorite movie:	Donnie Darko,Requiem,The Crow,Sleepy Hollow,Romeo + Juliet,NBC,Underworld,Empire Records

currents!@*&!*@&^& brought to you by BZOINK!

2004-04-14T18:04:00.000-05:00

Could you hear me loud and clear?
School went by pretty fast today. Drew ended up comming to get me pretty damn late so we were late to school. Damn you stupid moms in their SUV's! Actually...thank you moms in your suv's cause I got to miss the first 15 or 20 minutes of Spanish which was good. Only bad thing about that is my Spanish teacher (aka Senor Tappy) yelled at me for being late and then he yelled at me and Katie for having a damn good time looking through this Spanish book. Im thinking he doesnt like me too much, he never really seemed too...oh well not everyone can like you. After school, went to piano, then went to Erins. We threw rocks at mouse traps the whole time. So fun.

Not too much to say today cause nothing interesting really happend today. Today really feels like it never really happend. Well Im gonna go find something else to do. Later.

Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasure remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm (Enjoy the Silence- Depeche Mode)

Mood: I dont really have much of a mood right now. Im just.....whatever
Listening to at the moment: At Least I Know I'm a Sinner- Atreyu

2004-04-13T21:46:00.000-05:00

"That pink totally clashes with the blue shorts! Ugh!"
School.....meh. It was alright. Today was definitely very un-traditional. I wore my hair up which I NEVER do, I did things with my left hand today (I dunno why but I usually do everything with my right hand), and GG made a fashion comment that actually made some sense (hense my title today, I swear thats exactly what she said). That was the big shocker for today cause GG never wears anything that makes sense or matches. All her clothes clash, but today she was critizing her "sexy friend" about her clothes. Sciene was fun today, we made pennies turn silver and gold, Molly was freaking out over everything it was funny to watch.

Lauren came home for McDonalds Day today. That was probably the only traditional thing that happend today, even though we didnt eat any McDonalds. We usually dont anymore, just cereal. We talked a lot about a bunch of stuff today and I had been wanting to talk to her for a while now about a bunch of stuff. Life seems to be getting better for me, things were really shitty not long ago. Im either getting used to the way things are or else things are starting to go my way. Hmmmm I wonder....

Tomorrow is zero hour but Im not going in early thank god, Drew is comming to get me so that is good. Classes are shorter too so Im happy about that. But then again, Wednesdays are piano lesson days.....blah.

Things definitely seem like they might start changing here. Like with EVERYONE. Im just feeling pretty optimistic I think about it all. Or at least I'll try and be because I think since school is starting to come to an end, people will start acting like themselves again and things will go back to good.

Mood: optimistic
Listening to at the moment: Asleep in the Chapel- Thursday

2004-04-12T15:55:00.000-05:00

You took me hostige and made your demands but I coundnt meet 'em so you cut off my fingers one by one
Just got home from my first day back at school....eh it wasnt that great. Just like any other day really. My classes didnt change at all so that kinda sucked. I want new classes really bad but I need to finish the ones Im in right now. Its alright tho. The only thing Im really upset about though is that Bellamy isnt in my first hour Spanish class anymore. He got switched to fourth hour. But I still see him like all day which is a good thing. Lauren is in my lunch now which is good.

I thought I'd be really really tired today since I didnt sleep so well last night but I was alright today. I wasnt like groggy but I was still weak like I usually am when I havent gotten much sleep. I didnt really think so before but now Im seriously considering that I may have some kind of sleeping problem. I should read up on sleeping disorders or something, or else just go to the doctor cause I really dont like not being able to sleep. We'll see what happens with that.

Took this quiz on what member of HIM I am. Took it once and it said.....

Which His Infernal Majesty member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Took it again and it said....

Which His Infernal Majesty member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well sorry you cant see the pictures probably, but the Ville one said that I hate red meat and Im proud of my gothness, and the Linde one said that I wear a lot of eyeliner and look stoned most of the time. lol cute

Mood: my body aches again
Listening to at the moment: Meeting Again for the First Time- Poison the Well

2004-04-11T18:37:00.000-05:00

The stage is set to rip the wings from a butterfly
Easter Sunday....yay....today was really wasted. Went to church at 11, saw Lauren there, came home, went to my grandma's house, ate lunch there and watched Samantha and Ben have an easter egg hunt (Sam kicked Ben's ass for once finally! Well the only reason she did was because I wouldn't let his mom help him this year). Got home from that around 4:30, called Erin and she came down here for like an hour until she had to go eat.

Im really glad that my parents didnt pressure me to really get into anything at church, like they didnt make me pray or sing or anything. In fact, they didnt sing either, none of us really do, but since its Easter, I thought they would. They dont know how I feel about religion and they dont need to know. Religion is your own personal beliefs and I dont think that you should have explain your beliefs if you dont want to. If someone asks what I believe, I will tell them what I believe and if they want me to explain it, I will. I wont preach it to people, just explain. Preaching something to someone, I feel, is not really ever necessary and I dont really agree with it. But anyway, enough of all this.........

School starts again tomorrow, so Im kinda glad about that. School isnt so bad and its better than just sitting here wasting my day. I dont know what it will like though, I havent been sleeping much lately, and when I do sleep, I either dont sleep very well or I have more weird dreams that wake me up. So hopefully all this lack of sleep wont affect me too much tomorrow. Otherwise, I'll load my body with caffeine to get me through the day.

Mood: meh, ishy. Otherwise, I guess Im kind of optomistic about things.
Listening to at the moment: Rebel Yell- HIM...........wait no its changing songs. So now Im listening to....There Is Always- Eighteen Visions

2004-04-10T23:30:00.000-05:00

There was a time when I could breathe my life into you
Went out for chinese with Alyssa. It was fun. I got to hear all about her Spring Break trip....lets just say she had a pretty good time. Ahh when we got there, we were the only ones in the restraunt besides this guy who was our server. He brought us to our booth and we ordered drinks. Well right after that, you'd expect him to go and get our drinks, but instead he goes to a booth about 5 across from ours and we can see under his table and the top of it and stuff. Well we see this old asian man (and Im not even kidding) with one hand flipping through an issue of Playboy, and the other one down his pants. Right there, in the restraunt. So of course Alyssa and I couldnt help but laugh our asses off and about the first 30 seconds of our laughing attack, he noticed and hurried off into the kitchen and got our drinks. He gave us the weirdest look when he got to the table. When most people would probably never go to that restraunt again in fear of finding the old asian man's cum inside their "cream cheese" won-tons, I know Alyssa and I will be there again many more times. I love chinese donuts.

Got home after that and spent at least 2 hours on the HIMonline message board. Since all my friends were gone this last week, Ive been posting so much. I think when they all left around Saturday, my post count was like 200 or so, right now its 457. Thats not as much as some people on there. A bunch of people have over 3000 posts. I think someone has over 6000 or 7000. Whatever.

Bellamy kinda made my night tonight. I just got done talking to him online. Lets just say that he gave me hope in certain people. I dont want to jinx anything so Im not gonna get my hopes up. I just really really really want things to get better.

Im in the weirdest mood right now. I love everyone, thanks to Bellamy. I love __________(place your name on the line provided)!

Ok, time to calm down. Tomorrow is Easter so I will see Lauren my love at church. Ugh church.....I hate the waking up part of it but its actually not that bad. All my family does is make jokes about everyone and everything in there. Me and Orangie see how loud we can chew our gum and my mom loves to imitate this one lady that gets very into the music, she is hilarious to watch. Then its off to Grammy's house to watch Ben and Orangie go on their very competitive egg hunt. Seriously, it gets like violent sometimes when it comes to finding eggs there, or at least Ben get violent.....that kid is so fucked up.

Time to go watch Underworld again. Later my loves

Mood: I have no idea, Im going crazy. Lack of sleep mixed with caffiene and interesting news from Bellamy makes me.............I have no idea what it makes me. Im just....whatever right now
Listening to at the moment: Ive Crossed Oceans Of Wine To Find You- HIM

2004-04-10T10:35:00.000-05:00

Oh how I wait for the day your heart burns
Couldnt sleep at all last night. Still aching....someone kill me.

Erin got home last night. Forgot to feed her lizard yesterday though...oops oh well it's fine. I'll probably call her today. Alyssa gets home at 2 today! She's gonna have some stories about her trip.....Lauren and Chelsey get home today too. Marissa got home last night. yay.....

May post later...

Mood: aching and tired
Listening to at the moment: Nosferatu- Nora

2004-04-09T23:18:00.000-05:00

Desperately waiting on something that's more than nothing
Well I ended up really liking Underworld, but I need to watch it again to understand it better. I ended up not doing much at all today. I just watched Underworld, then 'Til Death Do Us Part w/ Carmen and Dave. I love that show, I love Carmen, she's such a sweetheart, or at least on the show she is. Well after that I babysat again. Made $26 I think.

People are starting to come home from trips today, tomorrow more people come, and Sunday, everyone is home. Oh joy......well whatever. They had to come back sometime. I will try and talk to certain people once I think of something to say...if anyone has any suggestions, I'd be more than happy to hear them.

Survey time...

Name a song that...
makes you very happy and hyper:	Rendezvous with Anus- Turbonegro
makes you remember your ex crush:	the Harry Potter theme song...dont ask
makes you think of your current crush:	Horns and Tails- Poison the Well
comes from your faveourite movie/tv show:	Mad World- Gary Jules (from Donnie Darko)
is great to listen to in the mornings:	Privilege- Incubus
makes you cry/sad:	Everybody's Free- from Romeo + Juilet...oh the memories...
helped you through a tough time:	Ikkunaprinsessa- Valo and the Agents, It just made/makes me smile when I listen to it
is so beautiful it makes you tingle all over:	Love's Requiem- HIM
what line from a song...
is great advice for the broken hearted?:	"Cant you see he's (or she's) the heartless and you're one of a kind"- HIM
defines love for you?:	if Im in a bad mood:"Love's an excuse to get hurt and to hurt"-Bright Eyes.If Im in a good mood:"Would you die tonight for love?"- HIM, very Romeo and Juliet
sounds like it was written about somone you know?:	"You live in fear of being someone you didnt want to. I realize your insecurities will get the best of you"-CKY
really never made sense to you?:	"I've acquired a genetically altered handshake capable of speeds up to 30 mph"- Everytime I Die
would make a good title for the book of your life?:	"Live, Love, Burn, Die"- Atreyu
general
whats the first song you remember hearing?:	umm well my favorite song when I was little was "No Diggity"- Blackstreet. I was brainwashed by mtv when I was little...
first song you bought?:	the first CD I bought was "My Way"- Usher
last song you had stuck in your head?:	Going Under- Evanescence
first song you disliked?:	uh I dont remember....I didnt like anything by NSYNC at all when I was little and I still dont....?
song you'd request at a party:	I Will Survive- Gloria Gaynor....thats the Kiki theme song....its a joke
song you'd like for the first dance at your wedding?:	In Joy and Sorrow- HIM
if you have a partner, do you have a song that is "your song"?:	she's not my partner, but me and Lauren's song is You and Me Song- The Wannadies.....dont ask
song you most want playing at your funeral:	Ikkunaprinsessa- Valo and the Agents, to make people happy. otherwise Mad World- Gary Jules
song your mum sings:	haha Why Cant I- Liz Phair
song you're most likely to sing if drunk/crazy/happy:	Rendezvous with Anus- Turbonegro
ever done kararoke? If so, what song?:	I Will Survive-Gloria Gaynor, Just a Girl-No Doubt, and a bunch more. Thats all Alyssa and I do if we go to Cable
is there a song you cant live without?:	Sigillum Diaboli- HIM. I just love that song so much, dont know why but I just do
is there a song you would happily ban from this earth?:	Crowquill- Circle Takes The Square...ahh that song can die, it bugs me so much
finally, name the song you listened to last/are currently listening to:	Short Stories with Tragic Endings- From Autumn To Ashes

Sound track for your heart brought to you by BZOINK!

Time for bed I think....maybe...we'll see

Mood: I ache everywhere.
Listening to at the moment: Wasting the Dawn- The 69 Eyes (and Ville Valo)

2004-04-09T10:47:00.000-05:00

If you smashed away all the buildings what would you have left?
Just woke up.....well not totally woke up. Im only half awake at the moment. Ive been having the weirdest dreams lately. The one I had tonight was weirder than the one I had two nights ago. I had a few different ones last night. One was about food poisoning, and the other one I dont really remember the point of it, but all I remember seeing is one of the major department stores in the EP mall and it was as if I was looking at it from years later because it was totally empty and dark. And I remember hearing someone in my dream telling me that it was just a huge "wasteland" where major drug deals would happen and homeless people would turn parts of it into their homes........hmmm I really got to go out and buy a dream dictionary.

Well Im gonna go watch Underworld now and see if it's any good. It looks alright but we'll see.

Mood: blah
Listening to at the moment: Dying In New Brunswick- Thursday

2004-04-08T20:10:00.000-05:00

I feel so lost, Ive been shaking, you cant save me
Was forced to wake up at 7:45 again this morning to leave the house by 8 to babysit. Just sat around eating Spongebob fruitsnacks and watched Finding Nemo and Freaky Friday with the girls. Made $45 today and I was there less than I was on Tuesday. Got home just sat. Ive been doing a lot of that lately. I dont have much of a social life right now with everyone gone. I didnt even talk to Bellamy today, something must be wrong....oh yay he just signed on.

Ive decided to cut all this shit out and work up the nerve to talk to Marissa when she gets home from Florida. Its really dumb that I havent done it yet, but the problem is is that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY TO HER. Like no clue, Im just drawing a huge blank now just thinking about it. Hopefully I'll have something good to say by Sunday....even though Im not the one who should be doing the talking..... Oh well, what the fuck, Im getting desperate at this point.....

Mood: fucking freezing. Im shaking uncontrolably right now, seriously its hard to type so Ive been using the backspace key so much while typing all this. Other than that, Im...............eh I dunno.
Listening to at the moment: Borellus- HIM

2004-04-07T16:44:00.000-05:00

Surverys
Oh god no one is ever going to want to read my journal ever again because Im going to add so many surveys...

Circle Takes The Square on Converge?:	Converge....i cant stand the way ctts sounds
Norma Jean or As I Lay Dying?:	As I Lay Dying
Darkest Hour or Black Paper Diary?:	Darkest Hour
UnderOATH or Daughters?:	haha the Daughters are crazy....underoath
Atreyu or Every Time I Die?:	ahhhh no I cant choose! i love them both
Remembering Never or Bleeding Through?:	Bleeding Through
Dead Poetic or A Static Lullaby?:	Ah no not another hard one, i like them both! probably dead poetic tho...
Alexisonfire or Curl Up And Die?:	Alexisonfire
Skycamefalling or Poison The Well?:	Poison the Well
On Broken Wings or From A Second Story Window?:	never heard either
A Life Once Lost or From Autumn To Ashes?:	FATA
7 Angels 7 Plagues or Bane?:	haha bane makes me laugh...
ShadowsFall or Hopesfall?:	Hopesfall
Most Precious Blood or Eighteen Visions?:	Eighteen Visions
Dillinger Escape Plan or Himsa?:	Himsa
Unearth or Between The Buried And Me?:	Between the Buried and Me
Silverstein or The Agony Scene?:	dont like silverstein, but ive never heard agony scene...
Avenged Sevenfold or Blood Has Been Shed?:	Blood has been shed
Creation Is Crucifixion or Evergreen Terrace?:	Evergreen terrance
Dead To Fall or Across Five Aprils?:	never heard either
Zao or Red Roses For A Blue Girl?:	never heard either
Beloved or Comeback Kid?:	Beloved
Shia Hulud or Burnt By The Sun?:	you spelled Shai Hulud wrong....but anyway, I pick Shai Hulud
Matchbook Romance or My Chemical Romance?:	My Chemical Romance
Give Up The Ghost or Anatomy Of A Ghost?:	ummmmmmmm Anatomy of a Ghost
Funeral For A Friend or The Early November?:	Funeral for a Friend
Cursive or The Beautiful Mistake?:	Cursive
As Friends Rust or Bright Eyes?:	Bright Eyes
My Ruin or Jack Off Jill?:	Jack off Jill
Ladytron or Le Tigre?:	hahaha oh god Le Tigre makes me laugh so mcuh

Band Vs Band brought to you by BZOINK!

[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? :::	Sara Klemp
Birthplace :::	Edina, MN
Age :::	15
Age you act :::	depends on my mood
Current location :::	Eden Prairie, MN
Eye color :::	blue
Hair color :::	blonde...ish
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :::	righty
Zodiac sign? :::	Taurus
Height? :::	Im a baby....5"2'
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality :::	um...a little less than 50% german, a little more than 25% Norwigan, a little less than 25% French
Your hair :::	when its clean,its long,choppy,very straight, and pretty.when its dirty,it dreads,it still choppy looking and kinda wavy, and pretty. its pretty no matter what..lol i wish
Your fears :::	Usually people say they are scared of dying and being lonely. Im not scared of either of those. The only thing in the world that scares me is fish, lake fish espically
Your perfect room :::	if I had Austens room, Id be happy, but Id make it very Sara and put up my HIM posters and pictures of people and everything else on my walls. otherwise a room like Marissas
What you practically do in a day :::	on a school day:wake up,get ready,leave,get to school,go home,go on the computer,maybe hang out with erin,sleep...randomly other things get mixed in there too
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse :::	um I cant think of any really...
Phrases you overuse :::	Oh god, double b (its a joke, dont ask)
Your first thought when you wake up :::	usually where am I
Your greatest accomplishment :::	Staying with violin for 11 years
Something you want to do :::	sing in a band,go to art school,live with friends somewhere for a few years like my mom,learn to play guitar
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke :::	Coke definitely
McDonald's or Burger Kings :::	McDonalds
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera :::	Christina sings better, but Britney is funnier to watch on tv
Chocolate or vanilla :::	Chocolate
Adidas or Nike :::	umm adidas I guess
Black or white :::	black
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) :::	Bills
Burgers or hot dogs :::	Neither
Egypt or France :::	never been to either, probably France though
Rock or rap :::	Rock
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke :::	depends, on occasion I guess
Cuss :::	depends, but yeah I do
Sing well :::	Im told I do
Sing in the shower :::	Oh yeah
Talk to yourself --a lot-- :::	haha not as much as my mom
Believe in yourself :::	usuaslly
Like taking these longass surveys? :::	haha yes
Play an instrument :::	yeah
Want to go to college? :::	eh, not really but whatever happens happens
Want to get married? :::	sure
Want to have children? :::	I'll think about that later
Think you're a health freak? :::	haha sometimes
Get along with your parents :::	yeah
Get along with your siblings? :::	I just dont talk to my sister ever so we get along fine
Think you're popular :::	haha no
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state :::	nope
Drank alchohal :::	dont think so
Smoke :::	dont think so
Get high :::	nope
Done any drugs :::	depends on what you call drugs
Eaten an entire box of oreos :::	god no
Been on stage :::	yeah
Gone skinny dipping :::	yes.....in my bath tub
Been dumped :::	nope
Dyed your hair :::	no
Stolen anything :::	probably food or something from someone
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest :::	Chelsey
Loudest :::	Marissa
Most shy :::	Katie
Blondest :::	Rachel
Smartest :::	Bellamy.....7 out of 53 on his test, he's a genious
Kindest :::	Casi
Best personality :::	Alyssa
Most talented :::	um probably Janis
Best singer :::	truefully....probably me but the best rapper is Bill aka Blackjak (buy his album May 12 2004!)
Most ghetto :::	haha Alyssa and Bill
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) :::	Lauren
Pain in the ass :::	Austen or Marissa
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style)):::	fucking Austen
Funniest :::	Bellamy and Alyssa
Best person for advice :::	for me, Bellamy, Chelsey, and Marissa when she's there for em
Dependable :::	Alyssa
Trustworthy :::	Alyssa
Druggie :::	Lisa
Most likely to end up in jail :::	Kate
Person you've known the longest :::	Vanessa or Jenny
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream :::	Last night, it was so weird...
Last nightmare :::	A while ago
Car ride :::	This afternoon
Last time you cried :::	almost 2 1/2 years ago
Last movie seen :::	At home or theatures? k well home: Romeo + Juliet, theatures: I think Barber Shop 2
Last movie rented :::	Gothika
Last book read :::	Waiting Period, now Im reading Requiem for a Dream
Last word said :::	color
Last curse word said :::	fucker
Last time you laugh :::	yesterday I think
Last phone call :::	today in the car
Last CD played :::	Worship and Tribute- Glassjaw
Last song you listened to :::	Bowl of Oranges- Bright Eyes
Last annoyance :::	the numbness of my mouth
Last IM :::	earlier today I think
Last weird encounter :::	today my dentist came to my house and said hi to my mom
Last person you hugged :::	haha my grandma
Last person you yelled at :::	probably my sister
Last time you wore a skirt :::	I think last week
Last time you've been evil :::	Im always evil ;)
Sarcastic? :::	right now....
Last time you fought with your parents :::	Sunday morning with my dad
Last time you wished upon a star :::	last night
Played Truth or Dare :::	god at least a year ago
Spent quality time alone :::	Lately, Ive spent a lot of time alone....probably last night
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM :::	nope
Do you feel lonely :::	yeah
Ever TP'd someone's house :::	haha yeah
How about egging someone's house :::	yep
Do you not like dislike not like me? :::	I love you
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? :::	nope sorry
Yo Momma :::	um ok
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? :::	not the person next to me....maybe their shoes though...
What do you think of George Bush? :::	hes stupid.........extremely stupid
Any secret fetishes? :::	hmm I have a huge neck fetish
Do you like to wear chains? O_o :::	um no
How many languages do you speak? :::	2 I guess, I take spanish class in school
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! :::	nope
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you XP)) :::	actually no, I love surveys

Bored? ((Over 100 questions)) brought to you by BZOINK!

Appearance
What is your preferred hair colour in the opposite sex?:	Black, or any other dark color
What is the perfect height?:	Not too tall, but taller than me
Weight?:	Not too heavy, toned I guess
Age?:	Not younger than me, and not extremely old
Face shape: Round, oval, long, heart?:	um I gues it depends
Clothing style?:	it depends on the personality. probably emo-ish, indie, goth (kinda), well just original is good
Voice: Deep, high?:	Deep, but not too deep
Do you like it when the opposite sex wears make-up?:	Depends on the person, but usually black eyeliner is hot on everyone
What about piercings or tattoos?:	why not, not too many tattoos or piercings though
Shorts or jeans?:	jeans definitely
Guys: Big boobs, medium, or small? Girls: Size matters?:	meh, i guess size doesnt matter that much to me
Skinny, not skinny but not chubby either, fat?:	Skinny is alright, but toned (not muscular) is better
Muscular?:	nope, just toned or fit
Big lips or small lips?:	Smaller, medium lips
Big ass or small ass?:	dont care, as long as its hot
What type of hair: Curly, straight, etc.?:	straight is better, Im not a huge fan of really curly hair, wavy is fine I guess
What is the best hair style in your opinion for the opposite sex?:	I really like the Connor Oberst haircut is hot(aka emocut)its not too long but not too short. Otherwise, long and straighter is alright,but Jussi from the 69 eyes has hot hair
Tall & skinny, short & skinny, tall & chubby, short & chubby?:	Taller and Skinny
Flat stomach or a small little stomach?:	Flat stomache
What's your opinion on hands?:	I like pretty hands
Voluptuous or not?:	hmm yes
What's your opinion on legs?:	I dont really care about them too much
Personality (Put either yes or no) Do you like the opposite sex if they're
Openly romantic?:	yeah
Sweet?:	yeah
Tough?:	depends
Nice?:	yeah
Funny?:	definitely
Sarcastic?:	yeah
Good sense of humor?:	definitely
Emotionless?:	not totally but too emotional people can get on my nerves,but passionate people are emotional people
Full of emotion?:	not really really emotional, but sane I guess
Sensitive?:	eh, not too sensitive because Im not really that sensitive, probably just as sensitive as I am
Thoughtful?:	yeah
Observant?:	yeah because I am
Quiet?:	not really
LOUD?:	yeah, but not loud enough to annoy me
Mellow?:	only when they need to be, depends on my mood and their mood
Crazy?:	when they can be, cause I usually am everywhere
Hyper?:	not too hyper
Respectful?:	yeah
Annoying?:	god no
Boring?:	no
Sympathetic?:	yesh
Empathetic?:	yeah
Bubbly?:	what?
Superficial?:	no
Listens well?:	yeah
Helpful?:	yeah
Mature?:	when they need to be
Immature?:	not too immature, probably just as much as I am
Supportive?:	yeah
Protective?:	depends
Cares more about the little things?:	yes and no
Cares more about the big things?:	yeah kinda
Profound?:	yeah
Comforting?:	yes
Interesting?:	yes
Opinionated?:	yes
Argumentative?:	not really
What you would want a lover to do or be like or make you feel (Yes or no)
Safe?:	yes
Comfortable?:	yes
Sexy:	yes

Ideal Lover brought to you by BZOINK!

ok those are the only one's I'll post tonight...

2004-04-07T14:12:00.000-05:00

Dont let us grow any colder
Eh, its early to be posting but whatever. I had the weirdest dream ever last night, like it kind of scared me. So, inspired by that dream, Ive decided to start a dream journal. I wrote that whole dream down, it took about 2 1/2 pages to write it all. Well anyway, got woken up from that dream at about 9:00 then was forced to shower because my mom said I was really dirty. So I did. Left for my dentist appointment at 10:45, got my cavity filled.

Then my mom and I went to my grandmas to eat lunch with her. She has the coolest stuff in her house. Shes got this HUGE purple velvet, gothic style chair in my dad's old room, my great aunt's old army trunk (which Im dying to have, I may ask her if I can have that...), she's got billions of books on like everything, someday I will read a few, and shes got these sweet old couches that make me laugh. Her house is just interesting to look through because everything is so old but still in good condition so its very cool.

Well tonight Im not even going to plan on doing anything because I know I most likely wont. But I know that probably tomorrow I'll see if Bellamy wants to hang out, Im going through withdrawl without him. He's with me all day at school, so that's 5 days a week, and probably once during the weekend. So Im totally lost without my bitch. Hes not really my bitch, but Emily tells me that Ive got him totally whipped. We're not even dating but I bet everyone things we are....great.....ugh not really. But whatever, he makes me smile and I need to be around him right now because I miss smiling.

Mood: numb, my mouth feels so funny from the novicane I got at the dentist this morning
Listening to at the moment: Burgundy- Dead Poetic

2004-04-06T17:59:00.000-05:00

Aren't you tired of being weak?
Got up at 7:50, ran out of the house at 8 to go watch the girls across the street. They woke up at 8:30 so I got to make them food and watch Field of Dreams....yes my favorite movie...then they had friends over and I just sat on their couch all day watching Fuse tv and The Osbournes while they played. Then finally the mom came home at 3:30 so I left their house with $40. That is good. Well thats pretty much all that's happend lately since everyone is gone. Ahh I gotta find something to do, Im the definition of a hermit right now. I was a social butterfly but lately Im not...hmm oh well I will find something to do. May post later.

Mood: I feel like Im missing something, even though I know Im not cause theres nothing happening here.
Listening to at the moment: This Wake I Myself Have Stirred- Shai Hulud

2004-04-05T17:47:00.000-05:00

Beauty's only skin deep, but ugly's to the bone
Went shopping today with mi madre y mi hermana. My mom is hilarious, seriously, she's the funniest person ever. But shes not funny on purpose, it's just the stuff she says or does that's funny. She wears the funniest clothes sometimes too. Her dog walking (in the winter) outfit is the best, me and Erin love it. Its a huge tan puffy coat with black snow boots and her black hobo hat. Today she was sporting a nice aqua colored sweater with light blue jeans (that were kind of short and tight) with old white tennis shoes and a red purse. She was having a hard time today trying to figure out which way to go to get around a salesman that she didnt want to walk past for some reason. She's great.

I was so surprised today, in Hot Topic, they had Love Metal and the Solitary Man single imported. (For all of you stupid kids who have no idea what Im talking about, those cds are by a band called HIM) Since I just had Love Metal on a burned cd, I decided to buy it. Bought it for $30. That's not as much as what I spent on Razorblade Romance like a 2 and a half years ago. I spent $40 to get that imported to me. But that was the best $40 I've spent yet. I definitely recommend doing that too, you wont be sorry!

I talked to Bellamy about that concert I missed last night, he said it was pretty shitty cause a bunch of kids that had no idea what kind of music was being played were there.He said they were all pretty damn rude too. I hate it when people like that go to shows or places where they know they shouldnt be but they just go to show off and be "cool". At the Thursday/Thrice show in October, there were are lot of those kind of kids. When Thursday started playing "War All The Time", this one girl shouted "Oh I think this is Track 9!". So Im kinda glad I missed that concert. He said it was really crowded too. Instead of the concert, I read in Requiem a little more. I love that book.

Hmm tonight I may chill with Kelsey? or maybe another night I will? I dunno, I should really call her, I havent seen her forever. Alright later

Mood: alright
Listening to at the moment: Circle of Fear- HIM

2004-04-04T16:12:00.000-05:00

And I'll savor every moment of this
Hmm today my dad kept trying to wake me up and get me to go to church. But thankfully he stopped and let me sleep until 11:30. I hate sundays, sundays are just like the day I wish never existed. They're always no fun.

A long while after I woke up, I remembered I was babysitting at 12:20 so I ran and got new clothes on and put my hair up and got out the door. Babysitting is like the only thing, besides getting it from my dad, I can do around her to get money even though it sucks. I usually just sit and watch tv while the girls go do their thing cause I dont want to do anything, but today I actually went out and did a few things with them. Surprising isnt it? well today the girls and I walked this dog they're watching to the park, swang on their swings in their back yard, and colored in coloring books. The coloring was the highlight of it all. I colored in the Barbie Cinderella book and made the step sisters look like Brandon Lee in The Crow. They were hot barbies.

Well once again, Im missing another concert. I dont really know why this time but I just am. Not really in the mood to see everyone right now even though I know I probably should. Ugh, whatever. It's fine. But all I know is Im for sure not missing the one by my birthday, even though that's in May......well planning ahead never hurt anyone. Im gonna go find something to do....may post later.

Mood: frusterated with myself
Listening to at the moment: Time Consumer- Coheed and Cambria (in honor of the concert Im missing tonight.....damn you stupid boys)

2004-04-03T19:34:00.000-06:00

Do You Like To Hurt?
Thank god today is basically over with. It was so long and boring. Woke up at 11:45, went to the dentist at 1, got home, took a shower, went online and talked to people. Thats about all I did today. Hopefully tomorrow will be more eventful but Im kinda guessing that it wont be because everyone's gone. Oh well. I guess you could call this comming week a "relaxing" week because Im not really going to be doing much. I'll probably end up being a hermit all week. But at least I'll most likely get time to read a lot of my book for my speech in English. Im just reading Requiem for a Dream again, that will make an interesting speech for my teacher to hear, she'll love it. Anyway, Im off to watch a movie or something.

Mood: bored out of my mind
Listening to right now: Maps- Yeah Yeah Yeahs

2004-04-02T22:38:00.000-06:00

The journey seems endless, but I'll carry on
Got a wake-up call at 9 this morning from Alyssa, so I left 10 minutes later for her place. Helped her pack for her trip, went to target, ate Wendys, went on a walk. Got home at 8:30 or so. My day was good....

...But not my night. Lately my nights have never been good. This is when like all the shit thats going on comes back to me and so it gets me in a not so good mood. Found out tonight on of my friends isnt doing so good. I wish I could talk to him but of course, Im fighting with him too at the moment, so we dont talk at all anymore. I havent talked to him in at least a month, but I still care about him a lot and I miss him so much. I just wish that he felt the same way about me, but I know he doesnt. Oh well I guess, there's nothing i can do about it so I should probably try and stop caring about him.

Im totally like cut off from everyone and everything at the moment and thats all because of like one person. Seriously, its all because of her. I dont understand why everyone thinks she's so great. She's not, really she's not, but why am I the only one that sees this? She is such a cruel person when she wants to be, so I'd imagine that her karma isn't so good right now. But then how does she get everything, or really everyone, she wants but doesnt deserve? They're all in love with her but she goes and she'll go and fuck up everything with that person, and even though that person will say that they hate her and will never make the mistake of being with her again, guess what they do? They go crawling right back to her......liars. She's said to me so many times before that if I needed her, she'd be there, but when I really do need her, she's not there of course. Instead she's like against me and makes the whole world be against me too. Im not going to name her name but I bet you can guess who that is....damn I have a feeling Im going to take everything I just said back.....no you know what? I wont take it back because its all true.

I bitch about stuff way too much in this journal but first of all, is my journal, and second of all, it makes it interesting for everyone to read so I bet you all are loving all this shit thats happening right now. Good for you.

Mood: wishing I could sleep but I know I cant
Listening to at the moment: Fuckings Greatest Hits- The Blood Brothers

2004-04-01T23:11:00.000-06:00

ABOUT YOU
Your full name::	Sara Luise Klemp
Age::	15
Height::	5"2'
Natural hair colour::	Blonde
Eye colour::	Blue
Number of siblings::	one
Glasses/contacts?::	no
Piercings::	two as of now, hopefully 1-3 more on the way
Tattoos::	the ink in the heart I did on my foot finally faded away after being there for almost 8 months...damn you stupid ink
Braces?::	nope
FAVOURITE
Colour::	so many...black, greens, browns, greys, reds, orange
Band::	Also so many....god too many to name, dont get me started
Song::	As of this second of this day right now its....Love's Requiem- HIM, its been stuck in my head all day, otherwise Lip Gloss and Black- Atreyu
Stuffed animal::	Teddy! ( and blankie)
Video game::	Super Mario World on Super Nintendo
TV show::	The New Tom Green Show (even though its cancelled...)
Movie::	Donnie Darko, Requiem For A Dream, Empire Records, Sleepy Hollow, N.B.C., Tim Burton's short film "Vincent", The Crow, Romeo + Juliet
Book::	Requiem For A Dream
Food::	Cereal, any kind except chocolate kinds (beside cocoa pebbles) and fruity kinds (besides Fruity Pebbles and Fruit Loops)
Game on a cell phone::	Snake
CD cover::	Until The Ink Runs Out- Eighteen Visions
Flower::	Red roses and those huge daisys that are bright red or orange or yellow
Scent::	"home"....or blankie, one of the two
Animal::	Cats or crows
Comic book::	um I dont read comics but if I did, it would be "The Crow"
Cereal::	Ahhh so hard to choose....but if I had to, it would be Honey Nut Cherrios....I think...
Website::	www.himonline.tv or www.donniedarko.com
Cartoon::	Family Guy
DO YOU
Play an instrument?::	violin and piano
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?::	sadly I think I do
Like to sing?::	yes
Have a job?::	kinda
Have a cell phone?::	yeah
Like to play sports?::	not really
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?::	nope
Have a crush on someone?::	I think I do
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?::	nope
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?::	3 that are plugged it, 3 others I think that aren't
Have any special talents/skills?::	I can make my tounge into a 3-leaf clover if that counts....
Excercise daily?::	kinda
Like school?::	depends on my mood
CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?::	nooo
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?::	yeah
Speak any other languages?::	¡Si, mis amigos!
Go a day without food?::	yeah
Stay up for more than 24 hours?::	yeah
Read music, not just tabs?::	yes
Roll your tongue?::	yes
Eat a whole pizza?::	no
HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?::	yeah
Cried to get out of trouble?::	no
Gotten lost in your city?::	yeah
Seen a shooting star?::	dont think do
Been to any other countries besides the united states?::	no
Had a serious surgery?::	no
Stolen something important to someone else?::	if stealing it from a friend but they kinda figure out you did but you eventually give it back then yes
Solved a rubiks cube?::	I cheated and solved it
Gone out in public in your pajamas?::	yeah
Cried over a girl?::	yeah
Cried over a boy?::	yeah
Kissed a random stranger?::	not that I can remember
Hugged a random stranger?::	yeah
Been in a fist fight?::	a joking one
Been arrested?::	not yet...
Done drugs?::	depends on what you call drugs
Had alcohol?::	yeah
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?::	not milk
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?::	yeah
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?::	nope
Swore at your parents?::	probably
Been to warped tour?::	no
Kicked a guy where it hurts?::	yeah
Been in love?::	ooh yeah
Been close to love?::	yeah
Been to a casino?::	yeah
Ran over an animal and killed it?::	no
Broken a bone?::	no
Gotten stitches?::	no
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?::	no
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?::	actually yeah once, I dont even like milk but I did it
Made homemade muffins?::	yeah
Bitten someone?::	yeah
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?::	yeah
More than 5 times?::	no
Been to niagra falls?::	no
Burped in someones face?::	yeah
Gotten the chicken pox?::	yeah
WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth::	2 nights ago I think...yeah I know thats gross but they're my teeth so ha!
Went to the bathroom::	a few hours ago I think
Saw a movie in theaters::	2 or so months ago
Read a book::	after my English final today
Had a snow day::	a few years ago I think
Had a party::	Ive been to a bunch, but I havent had one since probably when Miles was here, if those 4 days everyone was here counted as parties
Had a slumber party::	last friday, but not here
Made fun of someone::	probably today
Tripped in front of someone::	today in the lunchroom, Bellamy pushed a chair in front of my and I almost fell on the floor
Went to the grocery store::	like 2 weeks ago
Got sick::	2 weeks ago
Cursed::	today
PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables::	vegetables
Black/white::	black
Lights on/lights off::	lights off
TV/movie::	movie
Car/truck::	car
Body spray/lotion::	body spray
Cash/check::	cash
Pillows/blankets::	blankets
Headache/stomach ache::	headache
Paint/charcoal::	hard choice.....paint I think tho
Chinese food/mexican food::	chinese
Summer/winter::	summer
Snow/rain::	rain
Fog/misty::	fog, mist is annoying
Rock/rap::	rock
Meat/vegetarian::	meh, somewhere halfway between the two, I pick the /
Boy/girl::	boy
Chocolate/vanilla::	vanilla
Sprinkles/icing::	sprinkles
Cake/pie::	pie
French toast/french fries::	french toast
Strawberries/blueberries::	strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool::	ocean=fish=death, swimming pool definitely
Hugs/kisses::	both, more hugs tho
Cookies/muffins::	cookies
p33n/bewbz::	what?
Wallet/pocket::	pocket
Window/door::	window
Emo/goth::	once again, I pick the /, some people call me emo (which I know I may dress like it, but Im not) and some people call me goth so just call me whatever you'd say for the / mark
Pink/purple::	pink
Cat/dog::	cat
Long sleeve/short sleeve::	short sleeve
Pants/shorts::	pants
Winter break/spring break::	winter break
Spring/autumn::	autumn
Clouds/clear sky::	clear sky
Moon/mars::	mars
FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?::	no clue
What are their names?::	There is no way Im naming them all, sorry
Do you have a best friend?::	yeah I have a couple
Have you ever liked one of your friends?::	oh yeah definitely
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?::	girl friends probably
Have you ever lost a friend?::	too many
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?::	yeah
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?::	double b
Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?::	Im in one right now
Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?::	When Marissa was having a really bad day once, I baked her cookies and wrote her a note and walked to her house and left them in her door for her, she loved that
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?::	My friends have done nice things for me but nothing that really stands out in my memory
Do you miss any of your old friends?::	yeah
What friend have you known the longest?::	Vanessa and Jenny
Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?::	yeah
If so, what is it?::	Its a long story.....
How often do you spend time with your friends?::	as often as I can
Do any of your friends drive?::	yeah
Has a friend of yours ever died?::	not any of my close friends
Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?::	Made an Enrique video with Marissa and Erin last summer
What do you think your friends think of you?::	i wouldnt know, im not them
LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?::	yeah
If you have, with who?::	god do I really have to say his name, Im so mad at him....ah oh well, Austen
Are you single?::	yeah
Are you in a relationship?::	no
If so, for how long?::
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?::	depends
What is your idea of the best date?::	um well Im pretty simple, theres not much to do around here right now so I guess just hanging out at home or going somewhere...fun? i dont care
What was your first kiss like?::	God I was so young, it was either at my front door or behind some trees in Vanessas side yard
How old were you when you got your first kiss?::	my first "real" kiss, too young, I watched too much MTV when I was little, so I think I was 8 or 9, it was before I moved, thats all I know
Do you think love is a load of shit?::	definitely
Whats the best experiance youve ever had with the opposite sex?::	depends on what you mean by "best experience", but I bet you mean something sexual, so probably...um the ceramics room earlier this year when things were "good" with Austen
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?::	yeah
Have you ever been dumped?::	no
Have you ever dumped someone?::	yeah
Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex?::	kissing/touching places I guess
WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers::	this girl in my spanish class (she wears them everyday)
Hat::	Cat
Hard::	science class
Free::	birds
Space::	aliens
Taste::	gum
Good charlotte::	shitty
Red::	blood
Deep::	ocean
Heart::	dead
Cord::	outlet
Cheese::	Miles
Rain::	The Crow
Work::	hard
Pedal::	flower
Head::	big
Bed::	soft
Fluff::	clouds
Hardcore::	music
Race::	Brandon
Knife::	cutting
Jump::	trampoline
I....
am::	tired
want::	to be able to sleep
need::	to talk to Marissa
crave::	sleep
love::	to be loved
hate::	fish
did::	it
feel::	lonely
miss::	certain friends
am annoyed by::	certain friends
would rather::	be baking soda-ed than antiqued
am tired of::	certain friends
will always::	love someone.....
SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?::	hardcore,metalcore,love metal,some emo,some grind,some indie,then my finnish/european bands I listen to
What time is it now?::	11:52 pm
What day is it?::	Thursday
Whens the last time you called someone?::	10 pm or so
How much money do you have right now?::	$40 I think
Are you hungry?::	no
Whatcha doin?::	this goddamn survey
Do you like parades?::	not really
Do you like the moon?::	sure
What are you going to do when youre done with this?::	go to bed
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?::	sure...?
If you could have any magical power what would it be?::	to be at more than I place at a time, or to be invisible
Have you ever had a picnic?::	yeah
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?::	yeah
What about sock em boppers?::	yeah
Are you wearing any socks right now?::	no
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?::	sure
pretty?::	meh, I guess at times...
sarcastic?::	nope never
lazy?::	just a little....
hyper?::	depends
friendly?::	I try to be as much as I can
evil?::	totally
smart?::	I guess so
strong?::	Im a baby that weighs nothing, so Im definitely not strong
talented?::	yeah I think so
dorky?::	just a little
ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)
high::	Bill
skip::	Bellamy ("HEY GUYS LETS SKIP TODAY AND TELL THE BAND TEACHER SO SHE'LL TELL ON US AGAIN!")
dance::	Alyssa
lonely::	me
pen::	Austen
flower::	Garbage girl wears one in her hat sometimes
window::	Marissa
psycho::	Chelsey
brain freeze::	uhhhh Ben....? I dunno
orange::	Orangieorangie918
sassy::	Kesha
jelly::	Emily
FOR OR AGAINST
suicide::	more against than for
love::	meh....for
drunk drivers::	against
airplanes::	for
war::	against
canada::	hahaha I love Erin so I'll be for Canada
united states::	dunno
rock music::	for
gay marriage::	for
school::	depends on my mood
surveys::	for
parents::	depends again on my mood
cars::	for
killing::	against
britney spears::	totally for.....no kidding, shes doing her thing and making good money doing it so more power to her, im for her i guess
coffee::	for
pants::	for
WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?::	yes
Play strip poker?::	yes
Run away?::	probably
Curse at a teacher?::	yeah
Not take a shower for a week?::	yeah
Ask someone out?::	yeah
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?::	depends, probably no though
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?::	yeah
Go scuba diving?::	yeah
Write a book?::	yeah
Become a rockstar?::	oh yeah
Have casual sex?::	haha no probably not
LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?::	Aveda
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?::	Like a month or two ago
What kind of computer do you have?::	Gateway
What grade are you in?::	9th
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?::	I like to throw hard candies even more than popcorn
Or just make out?::	yeah
How many posters do you have in your room?::	too many
How many cds do you have?::	a lot but I think about 35 or so I listen to
What time is it now?::	12:03

extremely long survey brought to you by BZOINK!

Listening to at the moment- Lover I Dont have to Love- Bright Eyes

2004-04-01T18:12:00.000-06:00

In Love and Lonely
Had my last final today in English, it took seriously like less than 10 minutes to do. Got 83/94 on it, not bad. Everyone was in a really bad mood today, just like yesterday. Hope we all feel better soon. But today I was surprised...Marissa actually kinda talked to me today. We didnt really say much, it was more just laughing over old jokes we had with other friends and eachother, so still nothing solved yet. I just think for now its best if we, or at least I, try and keep things as normal as possible with her. Makes life easier kinda I guess....

Spring Break finally, this is good. But now I have no idea what to do with myself. Everyone is gone besides like Bellamy and Austen, but since Im not talking to Austen really right now, Bellamy's my only buddy around for the week. But tonight I may go to Alyssa's, depending on when she gets home, but tomorrow at least I think Im going over there. Shes going to Mexico...lucky bitch. But I do get to do something this spring break.....watch Erin's dying lizard while she's searching for Johnny Depp and HIM merch for me in a haunted villa in Paris.....yes yes Paris, France! Shes the even luckier bitch.

I decided today that I think or day-dream way way too much (one of the two) and I need to stop. Its not healthy, but I guess thats what you do when you're kinda lonely in the love department....If I keep thinking it too much, Im gonna end up in an insane asylum....yes that is my future.....actually no that wont happen. I wont let it. Anyway, time to go figure out my plans for the night....

Mood: pondering things....ah no! I must stop
Listening to at the moment: Radio Cambodia- Glassjaw

2004-03-31T18:05:00.000-06:00

Just say you would do the same for me
So many tests today, I cant even believe I made it through the day. Here was my school day:

Spanish:Test on vocab words and verbs and possessive adjectives, about 5 or 6 pages long

Orchestra:Even though our last day of real class was Tuesday, we have to go back for like 2 minutes either Wednesday or Thursday for a short playing test on scales. I did mine today, G major. Wasnt too hard. 98/100 on that, and 93/100 on my written scales and composers test. I love orchestra, best class. Today before our tests, Kesha, Bellamy, and I ran around the room dancing while playing violin or someone played the piano. You have to be in orchestra to understand this kind of fun. It will be even better tomorrow. No class so me and the orchestra table gang get to chill all hour, we may have a picnic...yay

Science:This class kills me....took a test Monday, and had our final today. 73 questions I think

English:This was like my break for today. We did nothing at all really, we attempted to do DOL, but no one really did it. All I did all hour was hang out with Bill, Jenna, and Octavio and listened to Bill (a.k.a Blackjak, everyone buy his album May 12, 2004) rap all hour, but thats what we do everyday.

Tomorrow is my last day in school before spring break, and all I have is to do my English final 4th hour so that will hopefully go alright.

When it comes to my drama stuff, nothing has changed as of now. Hopefully I will work up the nerve to suck up my pride and apologize for stuff I didnt do and hopefully my apology will be accepted. I dont care if Im apologizing for nothing, just as long as things go back to before. If you're reading this, even though you dont know me, and all this drama with friends stuff you read about doesnt change much, sorry to disappoint you all. Its hard to change things when you have no idea what to say to people who are so hard to talk to or apologize to with a lot of confidence. The person I have to "apologize" to is like my rival. Seriously, we are in a way, we even talked about it a few times. She is really intimidated by me I guess, and Im scared to death of her. Shes kinda hard to talk to, or at least for me. Im not a very open person. I guess just in my journal I am because.....I have no idea why but its just easier to type stuff in here than talk to someone about it. Ive never really felt like people have never been there for me much even though at one point they said they'd always be there for me. I know that they probably have been but I dont like bothering them with my problems. Ok enough of this for tonight, I gotta go eat.

Mood: hungry
Listening to at the moment: Blood Clots and Black Holes- Thrice

2004-03-30T19:38:00.000-06:00

Is it so hard to believe our hearts are made to be broken by love
Today at school was pretty good. School took forever to get through though. All we did was review for finals on Wednesday and Thursday. This quarter has been 10x harder than the last two, but oh well, Im still doing alright. Went to Rachel's after school to work on science stuff. We got most of it done and were still able to watch a few movies. Spring break in 2 more days thank god....

I got home like an hour ago or so and everything has kinda been hitting me since like half an hour ago. I hate being a girl, no matter what you're in love with someone or something but you hate that person or thing with such a passion. Its the worst when you hate one of your "best" guy friends but you love him so much. This friend of mine has been my friend since like the 7th grade, but this year he changed so much. Everyone I know did but he changed probably the most out of all of them. Something happend between me and him but he ended up breaking my heart very soon after stuff started happening. Then he goes back to his ex for like the 2nd time. Now he practically hates me. Today on the ride back to Rachel's (yes we were cool today and took the bus), he sat right behind me and didnt even look at me or say anything to me. I really didnt think anything of it until he walked past me and (ok this is kinda weird) I could smell him. His smell to me is like....."home" I guess. I miss that smell more than anything. I feel safe when I smell it cause it means that he's around. I hate him so incredibly much but I love him and miss him more than Ive ever missed anyone in my life. These past 2 months or so have probably been the hardest Ive ever had to go through, and not just cause of this stuff with him. Theres much more. But Ive never really had this much drama going on that involves me ever, so being able to handle it all gets really hard at times, plus school and finals. Yet, Im really proud that Ive been alright and Im still smiling when Im around most people through all this stuff. Most of my friends would've given up on everything so long ago if they were me but Ive been making it through all this stuff practically on my own. No one really to talk to much anymore besides a select few people that I know I can count on, but they still dont know everything thats going on. Im not gonna let the world bring me down....yet at least. Im still young and have so much ahead of me and this is just highschool. I havent even really lived yet. But I hope that all this stuff ends soon here. Feeling lonely and unwanted all the time kinda gets old after awhile....

K done bitching, but I can bitch as much as I want. Its my profile ha! But I gotta get going anyway, I have to make myself a cheat sheet thing for science anyway. Later my loves.

Mood: ^read above^ that will tell you how Im feeling...
Listening to at the moment: Letters To You- Finch (yes, sadly Im super emo at the moment.....actually Im not but Finch makes me laugh because of emo jokes with Bellamy....I love that guy. He makes me smile more than anyone I know, hes always there when I need him. If I was a guy, I'd probably be him most likely because he's me in guy form and Im him in girl form. Im not attracted to him or anything, hes just practially my best friend at the moment so I love him to death)

2004-03-29T20:29:00.000-06:00

"I was at least hoping for double digits"
Mondays....ugh everyone hates Mondays. Went to school early for major science tutoring....kinda helped. Then took the test 3rd hour and I have no idea how I did on it. We'll just have to wait and see. Hopefully I'll do as good as Bellamy and get a 7 out of 53 on it.....he's my hero. "When I got my test back, I saw it, and I laughed so hard. I tried so hard to hold it in but I couldnt. People would come up to me and say "I did so bad, I'll tell you my score if you tell me your's", so I'd say ok, then they would say they got like 30.....7. I got 7. I was at least hoping for double digits."- Bellamy. God that guy is hilarous, I cant believe I hated him for so long....well nevermind I can ( I went out with him for 9 months like last year so he got on my nerves for a while after that). But I love him now, I spend my whole day with him. Anyway....

Got home, had a piano lesson. Im doing a duet with this girl who's 3 years younger than me, and she's at my level already. Wonder how long she's been playing....well at least Im good at violin. I love violin way more than piano.

Tonight I was supposed to go to The Bled/Alexisonfire concert with Bellamy, Austen, and a few other guys, but I decided at the last minute that its best that I didnt go. Austen probably wouldn't want to have to be with me there anyway. I hope things get fixed with him more than anyone. I miss him a lot.... So Im upset I had to miss that, but Bellamy said he'd get me a shirt because hes a very nice guy. And anyway, hopefully I'll go to Coheed and Cambria/Funeral For A Friend on Sunday....I should talk to Drew about getting a ride....hmm sorry thinking to myself

Ok time for me to study for my orchestra test. Later

Mood: very curious to know if Bellamy actually got me a shirt from the concert
Listening to at the moment: Rendezvous With Anus- Turbonegro (Come on baby and dance again! Jerk that head and be my friend!)

2004-03-28T21:39:00.000-06:00

Opening credits:	The Fallacy of Retrospective Determinism- The Rise
Waking up:	.44 Caluber Love Letter- Alexisonfire
Average day:	Flesh Into Gear- CKY
First date:	This Celluloid Dream- AFI
Falling in love:	I Love You (Prelude To Tragedy)- HIM
Love scene:	Beautiful- HIM
Fight scene:	Lip Gloss and Black- Atreyu
Breaking up:	Autumns Monolouge- From Autumn To Ashes
Getting back together:	The Sacrament- HIM
Secret love:	Maps- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Life's okay:	Devil In Jersey City- Coheed and Cambria
Mental breakdown:	Fuckings Greatest Hits- The Blood Brothers
Driving:	96 Quite Bitter Beings- CKY
Learning a lesson:	Tell Myself Goodbye- Dead Poetic
Deep thought:	The Path- HIM
Flashback:	The Taste of Ink- The Used
Partying:	Rendezvous with Anus- Turbonegro
Happy dance:	Ikkunaprinsessa- Ville Valo and The Agents
Regreting:	Horns and Tails- Poison The Well
Long night alone:	Porcelain Hearts and Hammers for Teeth- The Bled
Death scene:	Mad World- Gary Jules
Closing credits:	Loves Requiem- HIM

Your Life: The Soundtrack brought to you by BZOINK!

I liked that survey the most out of all the ones Ive done, it actually made me think a little bit....

2004-03-28T14:02:00.000-06:00

The Reaper Holds My Heart
Well today, another boring day at home. Just got back from a walk with Erin, lots of good talking. Shes lucky, shes going to Paris in a few days. I love Erin, I feel bad too cause I forgot how much I did....

I feel so cruel sometimes, but right now, I dont really care. It makes me laugh most of the time, yeah I know thats pretty shallow but whatever. Drama with my friends always seems to make me smile, espically when I predict what will happen, but they dont think so. But then guess what? It happens. They should've listened to me, Im the one with the tarot cards here and they never lie. Really, they dont, they were only wrong once but thats when I dealt them out wrong. But anyway, I didnt use the tarot cards on this prediction, it was just total common sense that it would happen. But the bad thing about this is now I get to live through another endless amout of months where people are sad and pissy all the time.....great

Alright...time to call Rach and get some help with my science homework

Mood: bored
Listening to right now: Wasting the Dawn- The 69 Eyes (and Ville Valo)

2004-03-28T01:34:00.000-06:00

What if you could go back in time and take all those hours of pain and replace them with something better?
You gotta love Donnie Darko...great movie. Anyway, got back from babysitting at like 10:45 and I've been sitting here online ever since. Not much else to do at the moment. Talked to Ben most of the night, he's....interesting. He's really nice and stuff but hes pretty....let call it "out there". whatever, Ben's cool. Now Im sitting watching HIM videos. But its almost time for bed I suppose...we'll see

Mood: Finally getting a little tired
Music video at the moment: Brandon Lee- The 69 Eyes...wait, it just finished...so now it's Your Sweet 666 (Live)- HIM

2004-03-27T17:08:00.000-06:00

Chinese Buffet Massacre
Well today I went to Alyssa's, and of course we went tanning. Then we went to this chinese buffet across the street. Even tho they didnt have the buffet open anymore, we order so much food and went nuts. Once again, we got a workout while we ate. We would literally get tired every 5 minutes and have to take a break from eating. There was so much food and we ate practically all of it but yet we still had leftovers....whatever.
After that, we went home and she made me shower cause she said I was too dirty to do anything, so I did. Then she decided to do this whole makeover thing on me. It looked alright.

Well Im off to go babysitting.....my favorite thing to do! kidding, I hate it but at least they pay well. Yeah I kinda wasted my weekend but hopefully I'll do something tomorrow and plus spring break is in like 5 days or something so that is definitely a plus.

Mood: tired and crabby I guess. I feel kinda shaky too, dont know why tho....
Listening to at the moment: One Last Time- HIM

2004-03-26T20:12:00.000-06:00

WRATH
1. Who did you last get angry with?
Marissa....of course
2. What is your weapon of choice?
My baseball bat
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Only if they deserved it or if we were just joking, which I always end up doing
4. How about of the same sex?
^See above^
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Marissa......once again, of course, I hate how we cant ever get along 100%. And Miles...Im so sorry...
6. What is your pet peeve?
People who talk about the same things over and over again because they are showing something off
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
I let go way to easily

SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
Brushed my teeth
2. Whens the latest you've ever woken up?
3:30 or 4 pm i think
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't:
Vanessa
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
"Ms Willey said I could turn that paper in next Thursday so Im not doing it untill then"
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?
Almost every morning. My favorite have been design-a-nail and bare essentials make up and QVC jewelery
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
Just walking around my school with my massive bag is a workout
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
Dont have one, I have one of those old school bell alarm clocks

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Mint Snowdrifts from Caribou
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
I dont eat much meat, but when I do, its white meat
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had?
Erins house in the summer or Alyssas house on a Kiki night
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
Nope
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
No I definitely dont, but like every girl feels like they could loose a few pounds off their tummys
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
Sweet, then salty, then spicy
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH!"?
Everyday I want to fry up my sister's killer goldfish.....it deserves to die, seriously

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
3 or 4 i think
2. How many people have seen YOU naked?
A couple people I think.....or at least my boobs
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
Yeah, its usually like I dont it unconsiously or something and Im like uhhhhh....its weird
4. Have you "done it"?
Nope not yet
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
Eyes, stomache, neck
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
Not by a real one....
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
Nope

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own?
Zero
2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Either Guess or Hot Topic
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Buy all the cds I still need, buy new clothes and such, and spend the rest on going on a trip with a bunch of friends
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Depends, probably rich tho, but i would want to be famous but not extremely famous like Britney Spears
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
Depends on how long I'd be working during the day and how boring the job was but most likely no because I wouldnt be happy
6. Have you ever stolen anything?
No........never.........
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
um.....too many

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
Studied violin for over 10 years
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
um...been a good kid? i dunno
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
So many things, find love, sing in a band, make art that will be hung in a museum, get a dog...
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Not too much, but it depends on who beat me for 1st place
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
lol I think maybe once
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
Haha yes of course I have. Im human, what else can I say?
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
I havent said one bad thing about Marissa, even tho I know she's said shit about me. Im the bigger person here........oh yeah

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friend's would you most want to have for your own?
Probably a lot of Marissa's jewelery and her radio purse
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
No idea
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
Id be me, but for a day, I'd want to be either Austen, Marissa, or Ville Valo while he's on tour
4. Have you ever been cheated on?
Not that I know of
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Im human, of course I have
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
I wish I wasnt so independent at times
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
lol not really.....

Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
Lust

K now really, Im done with these surveys for tonight, Ive been so bored, Ive done so many. Someone stop me.....

2004-03-26T16:43:00.000-06:00

Sara Loves Online Quizzes

Loose You Tonight

What Song By HIM Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which 1990's Subculture Do You Belong To?

[Another Quiz by Kris
@ couplandesque.net]

You're Bam! The Jackass Of All!

Which Member of MTV Jackass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sorry if the pictures dont show up.......k thats enough for now, I must get out of this house! You see what being stuck in here is getting me into doing??! Goddamn online quizes.......well what the hell, at least its not Starcraft, like some people I know........lol

2004-03-26T15:52:00.000-06:00

Fried Hair Fuckass
Yes, that is me. The fried hair fuckass. My hair is so dead, it amazes me how this only happens to me and I dont really do much bad stuff to it! oh well...

Well today is Friday, thank god, and I still have no clue what Im doing yet. Everyone is going to Casey's bday party which will be fun for her, shes so sweet. I may hang out with Katie but Im not sure yet or else maybe I'll see what Chelsey's doing....hmm so many choices.....no kidding actually there arent too many choices cause Im fighting with everyone right now. Maybe someday I'll post the whole story if anyone is interested in reading it. I dunno, I find it interesting to read about whats going on in people's lifes. This is sad but its almost like a book and you just want to keep reading more. lol ok well Im nuts so thats just me.

Mood: confused
Listening to at the moment: Greener with the Scenery- The Used (damn I forgot how much I actually did like them, I havent listened to them forever)

2004-03-25T20:04:00.000-06:00

Fuck it, Im fine....
We had the funniest "fight" at dinner tonight. When my family fights it never really counts as a real fight, or at least when it comes to my dad because right after we're done fighting, he will come and apologize to me. Well anyway tonight at dinner, I was minding my own business and eating my green beans while everyone else at the table started praying. I usually dont pray with them anyway but tonight my dad got frusterated so he like tried to quiz me and orangie on why we pray at dinner. Then out of nowhere my mom starts talking about how she wonders what it would be like if you ate pancakes for every meal, shes so weird. But my dad got so serious and attempted to yell while me and my sister laughed our asses off. Well of course he kicked me out of the dinner table even tho I was already done and was leaving.....yeah that makes a lot of sense of him....But then of course just now my dad came down and said he was sorry. I dont understand why he still keeps trying to make me get into the whole church deal. Im not into that, I never was and most likely never will be. I was totally turned off from God when I was younger, Ive prayed so many times for help in some tough situations that Ive had but it didnt seem to help much. I believe in something but Im not too sure that it's God himself. So many things are way more logical and can prove things in the bible wrong. I still pray occasionaly when I have problems, but it usually doesnt help too much, I think I still do it to comfort myself in some way...I dunno. But anyway.........

Im so out of it lately. It probably doesnt seem like that to anyone but I really am. Its so much easier to put on a face and be fine. To at least try and be happy and keep all the bad shit off my mind. I love laughing and being stupid-silly, thats me. So really, fuck it, fuck everyone and their stupid problems. Im fine.......or at least thats what I keep telling myself. I just am really missing the 3 core people in my life so much and they dont even really care or even realize it. They are way too caught up in themselves and eachother. And they're way immature but still think that they are so mature and im the one thats being dumb. Welllllllllll they can all go.......no no Im going to be the mature one and not finish that sentence. I love them all so much still and just miss them. I guess I just want things back to how they were before, even if that means for me to end up apologizing in the end for all the things I didnt do but they still blame me for them. If that will help the situation then I guess I'll suck it up at do it.

Its been 5 days and GG still hasn't been spotted! If you see her, please inform me or Bellamy........or call Nardeem, she'd love to hear from you....

Mood: As you can probably tell, not the best but contently happy as always
Listening to at the moment: Mass As Shadows- Thursday

2004-03-24T17:54:00.000-06:00

How long can we take this chance not to celebrate life?
Well today was my first day back in school after being out for 2 days. I wasnt really sick but I guess you could call them "sick days", but luckly I barely missed anything. All I missed was having people act weird towards everyone so Im glad I missed that. Everyone just needs to get over themselves (i could name names but Im being the bigger person here...) and they need to start acting a little more mature, like stop getting mad at people over nothing, if they did nothing to you, you have really not much of a reason to be mad with them or at least effect them with your ishy emoness. We are definitely old enough to stop getting pissed at eachother over nothing, or at least most of us are. Get over yourself and your stupid emoness and at least try and be at least a little bit happy around people that dont deserve your shit.

Anyway,on a much lighter note, Bellamy and I have totally not seen Garbage Girl buttering her scones at all lately, whats up with that? I miss GG......and her sexy new haircut. Its kinda like ----hair hair hair------ where'd the rest of the hair go? (Shes got ishy bangs) Other than that, today was pretty damn normal. Nothing happend like at all as far as I know so far. Lately nothing has really happend at all, besides the Lauren/Adam thing but thats not even a thing yet.....we will see folks we will see...maybe something interesting (good interesting) will happen again to Sara one of these days.....

Mood: Tired....very very tired
Listening to at the moment: Ain't Love Grand- Atreyu

2004-03-23T20:47:00.002-06:00

Sara Loves Surveys
Now i get to amuse you all with my first survey...

Have you ever...
{x} Fallen for your best friend? Yes...
{x} been rejected? Oooh yeah
{x} been in love? yesh
{x} cheated on someone? never have and i dont plan on it
{x} been cheated on? not that i know of...
{x} done something you regret? oh yeah, i do a lot of stupid stuff

Who was the last person...
{x} You touched? My dog...?
{x} You talked to? Bellamy
{x} you hugged? cant remember
{x} you instant messaged? Bdogg
{x} you yelled at? I think my dad
{x} you laughed with? mi madre

Have you/are you/do you...
{x} Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? what things? im confused...
{x} Understanding: I like to think I am
{x} Open-minded: I am or at least I try to be as open-minded as i can be
{x} Arrogant: I dont think Im that arrogant but I guess other people decide that for you
{x} Insecure: When you find someone who isnt at all, show them to me
{x} Interesting: Yeah I guess you could call me that...
{x} Hungry: Not that often
{x} Friendly: Yeah, I'd say Im friendly
{x} Smart: People tell me Im smart
{x} Moody: Im rarely ever moody, Im ususally always happy but right now.....meh i could be so much better
{x} Childish: Chelsey and I run around school playing made up games and doing stupid hand games....need I say more?
{x} Independent: I like to think I am very when it comes to most things.
{x} Hard working: Usually yes
{x} Organized: um....well other people may think Im not, but I like to think I am
{x} Healthy: kinda
{x} Emotionally Stable: I always am even when Im in a mood like the one Im in now
{x} Shy: Not really but it depends
{x} Difficult: Definitely not
{x} Attractive: Well yeah, Im a total hottie.....no kidding, Ive been told Im attractive before but from peole that I dont find that attractive or who are just friends so....I dunno. I guess I am but everyone thinks different things are attractive so whatever
(x) Sarcastic: take a guess
{x} Bored Easily: Ohhhhhhhh yeah
{x} Thirsty: Always
{x} Responsible: Well all I know is that I used to be more responsible than I am right now
{x} Sad: umm well lets just say I could be much happier
{x} Happy: I always am
{x} Trusting: A little too trusting at times
{x} Talkative: Yes but it depends really
{x} Original: Well Id like to think so but Im probably not
{x} Color your hair? Nope
{x} Have tattoos? if it counts, a homemade one on my foot, its just a small heart tho
{x} Piercings? just 2, my ears
{x} Floss daily? If I dont brush my teeth daily, do you expect me to floss daily? I dont think so....
{x} Own a webcam? Nope
{x} Ever get off the damn computer? at times
{x} Sprechen sie deutsche? I think it says speak german....no but I wish I did
{x} Habla espanol? Si amigo, pero a mi no me gusta espanol

Currents...
{x} Current Clothes:plaid red/black pajama pants, Blood Brothers shirt, rainbow toe socks and my grey wooly sweater
{x} Current Mood: ughhhhh could be much much much better
{x} Current Hair: Not too clean, Ive been sick the past 2 days
{x} Current Annoyance: My cough
{x} Current thing you ought to be doing: Calling Alyssa....or Lauren
{x} Current Desktop Picture: pink/yellow/orange poison the well background
{x} Current Favorite Group: what kind of group? well i like the vegtable food group....?
{x} Current Book: Waiting Period, 20 pages left, so after that I think Im gonna finish the "A Seies of Unfortunate Events" series cause I left off at book 6, otherwise I'll read Blindness....dunno yet
{x} Current movie In VCR: well its a dvd player but same thing. Its Empire Records
{x} Current Refreshment: my spit
{x} Current Worry: Weither or not I will be able to sleep tonight
{x} Current Crush: This really really really attractive friend of a friend....well i guess this guy is my friend too, but whatever, hes very attractive

Favorite...
{x} Food: cereal, any kind but chocolate kinds (except cocoa pebbles), any fruity kinds (except for fruity pebbles), Crunch Berries, and Berry Burst Cherrios
{x} Drink: Diet Coke with Lime
{x} Color: black/greens/reds/yellow/browns/greys
{x} Shoes: I love my converse high tops, but they kill my feet, so I love my red flip flops more
{x} Candy: raspberry and grape tootsie pops
{x} TV Show: The New Tom Green Show, Sex and The City (RIP) and King of the Hill
{x} Movies: Donnie Darko, The Crow, Requiem for a Dream, Nightmare Before Christmas, Empire Records, Out Cold, Romeo + Juliet
{x} Dance: Alyssa's interprative dance to "Sail Away" that her mom made her do in 1st grade
{x} Vegetables: any kind, i love vegetables
{x} Fruits: cherries

On Dating...
{x} Long or short hair? Long hair, but whatever looks cool I guess
{x} Dark or blond hair? Dark
{x} Tall or short? Mostly everyone's taller than me...uhh not too tall I guess...too tall is when they make fun of me for being short
{x} Sensitive or Funny? Funny....I myself try to be sensitive but I must admit, Im not all the time, I can be at times tho when I need to be
{x} Good or bad? A little of both
{x} Dark or light eyes? Dark or pretty green eyes
{x} Hat or no hat? Depends on the person hats can be hot
{x} Pierced or no? depends but usually pierced
{x}tattoos or no? sure why not
{x} Freckles or none? noooooooo

On preferences...
{x} Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend? Id marry the perfect friend, even if that meant giving up all the good sex I'd probably get from the perfect lover.....oh well a friend is better
{x} Sweet or sour? sour
{x} Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? Dr. Pepper
{x} Sappy/action/comedy/horror? comedy or a horror movie that's actually scary
{x} Cats or dogs? either
{x} Ocean or Pool? ocean=fish.....fish=death but the ocean is pretty to look at, so even tho Id die because of the fish, Id go with the ocean
{x} Vanilla or Chocolate? either
{x} Eyes open or closed? Closed
{x} Fly or breathe under water? Fly

Mood: ughh could be so much better....
Listening to at the moment: Ikkunaprinsessa- Valo and The Agents

2004-03-23T20:27:00.000-06:00

Hello World
Alright hello world. I may not post much, i will most likely just randomly post when im bored....